Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Republicans Are Having All the Fun, Part 3,568

Sorry, but I can’t help venturing out of the Vermont political realm for just a moment to jump on the bandwagon of those commenting on the news that Louisiana’s Republican Senator, David Vitter, has issued a statement admitting that he used the services of the now infamous “DC Madam.” Yowza. Oh David, you wild and crazy guy! Well, not exactly. Because now the same guy who was calling up the lady service for a hummer of the non-automotive variety is now weeping the Jimmy Swaggart-style tears and begging the world to forgive his “sinful” transgressions. Give me a fucking break. You wanted it. You called for it. You got it. You enjoyed it. Now shut up about all the remorse, you fool.

You gotta hand it to these Republicans because they know how to have a good time and then – years later – weep like fucking morons so as to play the sympathy card. But, if Vitter was really feeling shitty about his brush with paid sex, why did he wait until the DC Madam was about to release her phone records with his number on them to come out crying? Oh yeah, I almost forgot, because he’s full of shit.

Here, for your reading pleasure is the statement Vitter put out regarding his sexual adventures with the call girl:

This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there _ with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.


I’m just curious, did Vitter get a receipt for that forgiveness he says he received from God? Because I’d like to see it. Mostly because I’ve never actually seen how that works. But, better yet, I’d like to see a transcript of that discussion he’s having about the encounter with God. I mean, did he offer even a hint of thanks for leading him to such a fine hummer for such a low price? Or if he simply played the remorse card to God, did the Almighty One ever interject to remind him that he witnessed the whole thing and certainly noticed the pleasure? I’m just curious.

Why are the Republicans having all the fun? Vetoes. Blowjobs. Direct lines to God. Perhaps Leahy could start another investigation and get to the bottom of this….

[Please, don't contact God about this blog. I've heard that he doesn't really care about it. Contact me at: VtSnarkyBoy@yahoo.com]