Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Impeachment Blues: The People Spoke & the Pols Cowered

Oh, the drama. Well, kind of. Hmm, on third thought, I could have just continued watching paint dry. It would have been just as fruitful and exciting as watching the all-too-predictable Dem slaughter of the grassroots this afternoon in the Statehouse. You gotta hand it to these Dems, they sure know how to stick it to their base, don’t they? In fact, if passion were one side of a magnet, the mainstream Dems would certainly be repelling it on the opposite side.

This time, as we all know by now, nearly 400 Vermonters made the journey to the Statehouse to hang their hopes on yet another miraculous victory along democracy road. It wasn’t to be, however, as the Speaker of the House, Gaye Symington, lined up enough of her Dem faithful to put a dagger in the hearts of those who knew it was all symbolism anyway. But Gaye and her band of Dems who can’t shoot straight had to, nevertheless, wave their pedantic finger and scold us for “going to far,” “being to bold,” and “wanting to much.” Oh yeah, Gaye, it really sucks when people dream, doesn’t it?

Please, remind me not to party with Gaye. Not that Gaye would party, for sure. But, if she did, she’d be the one who’d come to the Halloween party without a costume and then announce that everyone else is just in costume. Well, yeah. That’s how it works, you dope. And I’ll bet when she really wants to let loose, she asks her multi-millionaire husband, Chuck Lacy of Ben & Jerry’s fame, to hire an Air Supply cover band. Rock out, Gaye! Not.

And given Gaye’s close proximity to the Ben & Jerry’s symbolism – how’d that “1% for Peace” thing work out? – you’d think she’d understand the pure symbolism of today’s actions. This whole effort has been about people feeling frustrated and wanting something – anything! – to reflect that frustration in the body politic. I’m certainly not amongst the Kool-Aid drinkers in this movement who think these votes in the Vermont Statehouse will go any further than the Vermont Statehouse – officially, that is. But, symbolically, these votes are about giving hope, building the base, and seeing if the Dems have anything close to what it takes to be a true oppositional party to the White House Republicans. We were dreaming, goddamn it.

But in these times you always know that when the dreams of the people get going, there are going to be more than enough good Dem-dream killers ready to pounce and – well – kill the dream. Just like Peter Welch killed the dream of Vermonters who want the war in Iraq stopped today – not in two years – Simple Symington donned her dream-killer garb today to shepherd home a vote that basically took a good long piss on the passion of the grassroots left. All that was really missing was this kind of line from Symington as she lorded over the slaughter: Take that, you fools!

And so it goes.

Let me conclude with some snarky observations about the winners and losers in this debate as I saw it:

Gaye Symington, Loser. No surprise here. Sure, she got pushed into this by the Shumlin Snake, but she twisted enough Dem arms to make sure it failed. Her side of Dem ninniness should not be surprised when more Vermonters pick third, fourth and fifth party alternatives in the next election. Anyone in Jericho ready to take her on from the left?

David Zuckerman, Loser. Yep. Even though Zuckerman sponsored this resolution, he was absolutely pathetic in defense of it. First of all, he didn’t rise to say a word in support of it until some Republican Neanderthal demanded to question him and, even then, he acted like the school kid who didn’t really read the book being discussed. Coming into the Statehouse, I really thought this was going to be Zuckerman’s day. He would have hundreds of supporters in the cheap seats, the glowing lights of the media and any and all the attention he wanted to articulately support and defend the impeachment resolution he spearheaded. Instead, he sat and sipped fucking Dr. Pepper and all but cowered from the attention that he should have been bathing in. Weird. I guess he’s not ready for primetime after all.

Chris Pearson, Winner.
This new Prog from Burlington gave the speech that most of the room thought that many reps would have given today. Pearson is clearly the boy-in-waiting on the Prog side of things – move over, pony-tailed Dave. Or, better yet, go to sleep, Pollina. He nailed it by understanding the symbolism of the moment and clearly and unequivocally declaring his wish to be on the side of opposition to the rogue Bush administration. Pearson’s got his mojo going. Congrats.

Jon Anderson, Loser.
Well, this newbie from Montpelier is just – well – a loser. Oh sure, he voted in favor of the resolution. But only after – according to several of his colleagues who confided in me – he bumbled around the backrooms asking folks how to vote. Get a life, dude. Or as one area rep told me: Look at your constituents, you idiot! Yep. But Turtle Jon is really on the Snarky Boy loser list mostly because of what I overheard from one of the media elite during the debate as Anderson walked across the room: “Dead man walking.” Oh yeah. Enjoy yourself, Jon, because it won’t be long before the voters show you the door.

Kurt Wright, Loser. No shit. But that won’t stop the Burlington Dems from feeling all proud about handing them the leadership role of their City Council.

The Kingdom Republicans, Losers.
Holy shit, let’s be real here. There are some really, really scary looking Republicans from the Northeast Kingdom. Several of them look like they’re one pasta dinner short of a coronary. And the anger! Whew. They were so proud to scream out their “no!” votes that I almost thought the next call would be “911” to clear the arteries that were/are so obviously clogged.

The People, Winners. Wow. What a show of force. Even if we got the golden shower from the power elite, we showed that we – for now, at least – still believe in the system and expect results. And “the people” will continue to be winners if we don’t fold up our tents and go away after the Gaye-massacre of passion and, instead, keep dreaming and doing what we know is right. Or left? Whatever.

[Thanks for all the snarky shout-outs at the hearing today. Nice to see so many people following the words according to Snarky Boy. Who knew? As always, send me your quips, tips and comments to:]