Sorry, folks, I’ve been a working boy. Yes, I paid dearly for my little all-expenses-paid trip up and down Sugarbush on Monday. But I won’t bore you with the details or annoy you with the whining.
About all I’ve been able to do over the last 36 hours is count on other blogs and bloggers to entertain me. Good luck with that. My goodness, they are a mighty whining bunch, huh? Everyone seems to have their panties in a huge wad over Odum’s apparent decision to step aside from Green Mountain Daily.
Personally, it feels like bullshit to me. As one commenter said, Odum does tend to be “overly dramatic.” And that, folks, is what this little resignation feels like. Well, that and the narcissistic hopes that all 36 GMD readers will come out and say what they’re mostly saying: “Oh Johnny, say it ain’t so!”
But let’s look at the facts before we all collectively drench our crying towels. First of all, Odum was not running the local church’s blog. Nope. He was a POLITICAL blogger – and he took sides and threw lots and lots of verbal darts at opponents. Granted, Snarky Boy usually thought those darts were sophomoric and/or mired in the liberal jargon of the day (e.g. Go Bernie! Go Peter! Martha Sucks! Douglas is an idiot!), but, for Odum and his band of ninny-weenies, they were darts nonetheless.
And Odum’s biggest “dart” of late was correctly aimed at the Second Vermont Republic (SVR) dorks who apparently got caught with southern racists in their midst. While that charge seems to be largely up in the air, the reaction from the SVR hierarchy was bizarre and, to say the least, not helpful to their reputations and/or believability. Instead of just doing what they should have done from the start – admit some judgment errors and shitcan the racist stench from their advisory board – they dug in their heels and made little but collective asses of themselves. My favorite for its pure dopiness was the statement by one-time-liberal-darling Rob Williams, who declared something like: “It’s none of my business if they’re racist in their private lives.” Oh yeah, Rob, run with that one….right into the ground.
But the granddaddy of SVR, Thomas Naylor, a man who I thought was always way too sleepy, pedantic and the antithesis to the man he revered, Ethan Allen, decided to make his response to Odum as personal as Odum had made his attack. Whereas Odum inferred that Naylor and his clan (oops, bad choice of words, but too delicious to delete) were racist, Naylor fought back by declaring in a press release that Odum worked for the Vermont Natural Resources Council (VNRC).
And here’s where it gets really weird: Odum is claiming that he’s quitting (for now) the blogging world over Naylor’s “outing” of his day job. According to Odum and his followers, that was “totally inappropriate and an attack on a man’s family.”
Say what? Everyone knew Odum worked as a rather low-level employee at one of Vermont’s many ineffective environmental groups. Hell, Snarky Boy posted several references to Odum’s position as the “associated director for membership” at VNRC. It’s not hard to find out, you know: Google him. Duh.
Something doesn’t smell right here. And, to my tired mind, you’ve got two options: Odum is backing off from his attacks on SVR or VNRC is putting the screws to Odum. If I were a betting boy, I’d take the latter.
So let’s look at that scenario for a second. If VNRC is busting Odum’s balls over the GMD site – again, a site that is very tame and liberal – what does that say about VNRC? Oh, how pathetic can they be? What part of Odum’s ass-kissing to Welch, Sanders, Leahy and any other anointed person to the Democratic Party’s elite did VNRC not agree with? And, even if they did disagree with any of it, Odum quite clearly was doing this on his own time and in his own way.
But the crying-towel liberals will be as ineffective on this one as they have been on every other issue they whine about: they’ll whine, cry, bitch, moan and point fingers. But action? Forgetaboutit. Even though there seems to be a very simple plan of action here: Confront VNRC on its apparent crack down on the Constitutional rights of one of its employees. Because if, as Odum is inferring, VNRC is nervous about his blogging to the point of scaring Odum into quitting, shouldn’t VNRC be called on to respond to this? Snarky Boy thinks so.
Again, let’s remember that Odum was playing what he thought was hardball at GMD. He did, for example, make all kinds of wild – and untrue – accusations about this blogger. But I certainly understand the game of slings and arrows: you throw some and you receive some. Get over it or quit because you don’t have thick skin, not with some seemingly contrived drama meltdown.
Speaking of drama, my favorite comment from the Odum-criers came from Steve West, who had this to say: “Even if Odum’s posting was wildly off base and without merit, the response was, dare I say, nasty and personal.”
Again, let me remind you that Odum inferred that Naylor and the SVR crowd was associated with racists and, by not acting, coddling and perhaps even supportive of racists (again, all points that Odum made rather well and believably). But all Naylor had in response was: “Odum works for VNRC and do they know he might be blogging on company time.”
So, Mr. West, do you really think being accused of working for VNRC is getting “nasty and personal,” even if it’s in response to being “wildly off base” for calling someone a racist? Sorry, but that’s just whacked.
Odum and his supporters should be sticking to their guns. If they believe in what they exposed and what they want out of a GMD website, they shouldn’t cower at the first sign of a counter-attack – especially when it’s whacked.
Sound familiar? It should. It’s right out of the liberals “do nothing but whine” playbook. People like to say that Karl Rove is a genius, but with opponents like this who wouldn’t look smart.
Come on, Odum, get off your quitting ass and fight back. And, as for his so-called supporters, start questioning Elizabeth Courtney and the rest of the VNRC hierarchy about what appears to be their troubling treatment of an employee.
Goddamn liberals, they always show you to the ring but never show up to fight.
Bottom line: Odum picked a fight and has now left everyone to fight it for him. Sorry, that’s not admirable. That’s pathetic.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
A Day to Remember
Can we just agree on one thing today, dear readers? It was a really, really hard day to be snarky. And if you’re reading from anywhere in Vermont, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Because, if you bothered to step – or even look – outside today, you know that it was the kind of day that makes the snarkiest amongst us just kind of pretend that it’s our Halloween day and we put on broad smiles as “costumes.” Ha! Take that!
I’m just damn lucky I didn’t run into too many people who would expect me to snarl and snark because, quite frankly, it just wasn’t there. It was, for example, the kind of day that being offered a high-resolution photo of Peter Welch instead of a clear position statement really wouldn’t have bothered me.
Because today was the day when my nose came back to life. Yep, if you were out, you smelled it, too. That’s the smell of Vermont when it begins to thaw. The best smell in the world. Period.
Okay, okay, I’ve got another reason to be flying rather high this evening. When I arrived at my current job site this morning, the fine residents and their children and grandchildren were buzzing about the place, giddy as all hell, and yet scrambling to load two cars and a van with what seemed like every kind of winter mountain toy imaginable. Yep, they were heading to Sugarbush. And I was heading to the dining room for a day of trim calking, priming and painting.
So for one brief period this morning, as I watched the snowboards and skis getting hoisted on the vehicles, I was feeling that all-too-familiar snarkiness begin to well up inside of me. But I guess I wasn’t as subtle as I thought. Because before I could get my second helping of gear out of my truck, the about-to-be-wonderful man of the house had this to say to me: “Hey, we’ve got two extra passes to Sugarbush. You can have one and come along if you want.”
Well, all be damned, snarkiness be gone. And off I went, with nary a thought about the lost day of work and wages. Sorry, but you just don’t pass up offers like that on days like this.
So, to make a long story short, tonight I’m not giving two shits about Mayor Nutball of Barre, idiots on the radio, soft-spined legislators, ridiculous fellow bloggers, or anything else that might normally set me off in the direction of a snarky rant. Because I’ve got some newly sore muscles, the lingering smell of the crisp Vermont air, a combination sun and wind burn, and enough images of what amounted to pure bliss from zigzagging down a mountain for most of the day to – well – chase any snarkiness away. I mean, I can’t even find the foul-mouthed muster to complain about the $2.50 I paid for a small bottle of water. Breathe that thawing Vermont air, baby, and so much crap just doesn’t matter.
I hope you’ll understand. If not, too bad. I’d offer to give your money back but – as you know – you haven’t paid a penny since you started sucking from my word tit many months ago. Oops, did I just stumble on “an issue.” Nah. Not tonight.
I’ve got a feeling tomorrow will be a whole different ballgame, though. Because that’s the day I wake up and realize I missed a much-needed day of pay. But tonight it just doesn’t matter.
Cheers, dear readers. I’ve got a body to soak and an ice-cold Magic Hat to nurse.
Unbelievable day. Unbelievable.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Barre's Mayor Lauzon to the People: Be Like Me or Die
I began my Friday night festivities with this promise to myself: Don’t write until Monday. Well, let me modify that: Don’t BLOG until Monday (there is, you know, the novel still in progress). And I was doing oh-so well until this morning when I opened my advertisement-laden Sunday Times Argus. There it was on the front page, Sue Allen’s tip-top story: “Mayor Wants Death Penalty for Drug Dealers.”
The mayor in question is, of course, Mayor Thomas Lauzon of Barre, the man who has been getting way too much attention here of late. It’s not my fault, either. I honestly feel helpless. Because, quite frankly, Thom Lauzon has become the Energizer Bunny of political idiocy. And I simply can’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
Oops, did I say horse? Really, Thom, I didn’t mean to make fun of the fact that you’re the mayor of Barre, Vermont and the proud owner of a George Steinbrenner-bred horse. Wait, that didn’t come out quite right. It’s not that George Steinbrenner – owner of the New York Yankees – actually made love to the horse that Thom Lauzon’s family now owns but, rather, that he orchestrated the one-time illicit sex act that led to the offspring that Lauzon purchased for a mighty sum.
Oh no, I feel a tangent coming on.
Lauzon, of course, is involved in a worse than Sisyphean battle to make Barre, Vermont what Barre, Vermont will never be: a land where more than one family owns a horse that originated from George Steinbrenner’s horse progeny. But Lauzon’s trying. Worse, he really doesn’t seem to mind what a horse’s ass he makes of himself along the way. Hee-fucking-haw.
Lauzon got my attention late last year when he helped orchestrate a publicity stunt of a drug bust – netting 20-something arrests of people who were apparently so scary and so threatening that the judges have released almost all of them back to – are you ready for this? – the streets of Barre. Thanks, Thom. You putz.
But when you’re an egomaniacal wingnut, it’s not the results that matter. Nope. It’s the publicity. And he’s getting plenty of it.
But wait, I can’t get the illicit sex act between two forced horse partners out of my mind. Because, as you’ll recall, the second act in Lauzon’s great purity drive for very unpure Barre was to enforce a “three-foot rule” between the dancers and patrons of the town’s strip club, Planet Rock. Which makes me snarkily wonder, what if one of the dancers was an offspring of Steinbrenner? I’ll bet Thommy-boy would let that one slide. Especially if he could purchase the result.
Tangent complete. Thanks for playing.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, Lauzon’s an ass. Because right after his tightening of the town titty laws (sorry, couldn’t resist that one), Lauzon spearheaded the passing of a town curfew for teenagers despite being told by a committee appointed to study the proposal that it was – well – stupid. But, hey, puritans rarely let facts get in their way.
And now we’re being told that Lauzon wants the death penalty for drug dealers. Are we all starting to see the pattern here yet? Good. Basically, if you live in Barre and you don’t look like a Lauzon, act like a Lauzon, have offspring that can be traced to a Lauzon (high-priced horses included), don’t have a profession like a Lauzon (he’s an accountant), enjoy watching non-Lauzon tits after a long work week, or have a non-approved Lauzon bedtime, you’re fucked.
Barre, Vermont: Meet, Thomas Lauzon, your little Napoleon.
Lauzon knows he’s being an ass, too. But he’s become so addicted to his royal assdom that he can’t stop himself. You know, almost like the drug addicts who need his help not his vengeance. Just listen to the quote he gave the Times Argus this morning regarding his latest proposal: “I’m sure everyone will distance themselves from me.”
He’s got that right. Now if we could just convince him that we live in a democracy where people who have titles like “mayor” are supposed to LISTEN to those same people – er, make that “everyone” – who opposes him.
In the meantime, I have this simple request for the Mayor: Could you please stop being such a dope so I could go back to pretending there’s nothing at the end of the Barre-Montpelier Road (from my side, at least)? Because, as it stands now, you’re making me want to shove my head in Barre tits, take drugs, stay out later than you think is appropriate and otherwise just continuing to pester your privileged ass.
Come on, Barre, wake up and send this guy packing. Please?
The mayor in question is, of course, Mayor Thomas Lauzon of Barre, the man who has been getting way too much attention here of late. It’s not my fault, either. I honestly feel helpless. Because, quite frankly, Thom Lauzon has become the Energizer Bunny of political idiocy. And I simply can’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
Oops, did I say horse? Really, Thom, I didn’t mean to make fun of the fact that you’re the mayor of Barre, Vermont and the proud owner of a George Steinbrenner-bred horse. Wait, that didn’t come out quite right. It’s not that George Steinbrenner – owner of the New York Yankees – actually made love to the horse that Thom Lauzon’s family now owns but, rather, that he orchestrated the one-time illicit sex act that led to the offspring that Lauzon purchased for a mighty sum.
Oh no, I feel a tangent coming on.
Lauzon, of course, is involved in a worse than Sisyphean battle to make Barre, Vermont what Barre, Vermont will never be: a land where more than one family owns a horse that originated from George Steinbrenner’s horse progeny. But Lauzon’s trying. Worse, he really doesn’t seem to mind what a horse’s ass he makes of himself along the way. Hee-fucking-haw.
Lauzon got my attention late last year when he helped orchestrate a publicity stunt of a drug bust – netting 20-something arrests of people who were apparently so scary and so threatening that the judges have released almost all of them back to – are you ready for this? – the streets of Barre. Thanks, Thom. You putz.
But when you’re an egomaniacal wingnut, it’s not the results that matter. Nope. It’s the publicity. And he’s getting plenty of it.
But wait, I can’t get the illicit sex act between two forced horse partners out of my mind. Because, as you’ll recall, the second act in Lauzon’s great purity drive for very unpure Barre was to enforce a “three-foot rule” between the dancers and patrons of the town’s strip club, Planet Rock. Which makes me snarkily wonder, what if one of the dancers was an offspring of Steinbrenner? I’ll bet Thommy-boy would let that one slide. Especially if he could purchase the result.
Tangent complete. Thanks for playing.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, Lauzon’s an ass. Because right after his tightening of the town titty laws (sorry, couldn’t resist that one), Lauzon spearheaded the passing of a town curfew for teenagers despite being told by a committee appointed to study the proposal that it was – well – stupid. But, hey, puritans rarely let facts get in their way.
And now we’re being told that Lauzon wants the death penalty for drug dealers. Are we all starting to see the pattern here yet? Good. Basically, if you live in Barre and you don’t look like a Lauzon, act like a Lauzon, have offspring that can be traced to a Lauzon (high-priced horses included), don’t have a profession like a Lauzon (he’s an accountant), enjoy watching non-Lauzon tits after a long work week, or have a non-approved Lauzon bedtime, you’re fucked.
Barre, Vermont: Meet, Thomas Lauzon, your little Napoleon.
Lauzon knows he’s being an ass, too. But he’s become so addicted to his royal assdom that he can’t stop himself. You know, almost like the drug addicts who need his help not his vengeance. Just listen to the quote he gave the Times Argus this morning regarding his latest proposal: “I’m sure everyone will distance themselves from me.”
He’s got that right. Now if we could just convince him that we live in a democracy where people who have titles like “mayor” are supposed to LISTEN to those same people – er, make that “everyone” – who opposes him.
In the meantime, I have this simple request for the Mayor: Could you please stop being such a dope so I could go back to pretending there’s nothing at the end of the Barre-Montpelier Road (from my side, at least)? Because, as it stands now, you’re making me want to shove my head in Barre tits, take drugs, stay out later than you think is appropriate and otherwise just continuing to pester your privileged ass.
Come on, Barre, wake up and send this guy packing. Please?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Beaudry Steps Off the Edge, Flails Wildly, Sounds Foolish & Vindictive, and Calls it Just Another Day at the Office
Lucky you. I got kicked out of the job site early today. The lovely homeowners were “entertaining” this weekend and the grandkids were due to arrive this afternoon. You know the old rule: Never let the kids or grandkids see the hired help. I mean, come on, I could say or do something completely inappropriate. I just hope the little rugrats like the “butter rum” color of the living room. Poor kids, they’ll be inhaling the same fumes I’ve been inhaling all week. And the next thing you know, they’ll be checking YouTube for the latest Slipknot videos, looking longingly in the window of Charlie O’s at completely inappropriate times of the day, and – sooner or later – figuring out how damn easy it is to start a blog and drive the power elite bonkers. Hmm, one can only hope.
While working this morning, I was left alone long enough in the house to be able to turn on my radio and listen to WDEV for the first time in a couple of weeks. Wow, it didn’t take long for True North Radio’s Paul Beaudry to come ever-so-closer to the edge of sanity, did it? Ouch. Poor fella. He’s really losing it.
In case you missed it, Beaudry’s convinced that Outright Vermont, the gay and lesbian advocacy group, is on a mission to snatch up his and everyone else’s children and “convert them to the gay and lesbian lifestyle.” And he’s not kidding.
For those of us further along in our post-simian evolution, we firmly understand that Outright Vermont is simply about offering support to gays and lesbians and fighting the kinds of insidiously stupid accusations like those being made by the likes of Beaudry and his clan of knuckle-dragging ninnies.
I mean, come on: How in the hell does he think people can be “recruited to the gay and lesbian lifestyle”? You’ve either got the urge or you don’t. Besides, if there’s any kind of recruiting going on in our culture when it comes to a sexual lifestyle, it’s the heteroes leading that charge. Don’t believe me? Turn on the tube, open a magazine or newspaper, watch an advertisement for, say, beer, or, better yet, seek out any and all the news you can find about Anna Nicole Smith or Brittany Spears. As a Snarky Boy, I’m certain that they’re recruiting me to think about my groin while watching this crap.
This “recruit” nonsense is almost as dumb as the notion that these same people have about “curing” gays and lesbians. Yeah right. And the real scary thing about hearing Beaudry’s hate mongering on this is that he always prefaces his comments by declaring his “love” for “those people.” Sure, Paul, you love them so much that you want to “cure” them of their own love urges. Get a life. And get out of their lives.
Beaudry started flying his anti-Outright Vermont flag when he learned that they had been invited to give a presentation at the school in which his children attend. Gasp! In his simple mind, this meant that the school board, principal, teachers and – yes – students invited them to the school to offer some fertile recruiting ground. But if he’d take just a second to put a coherent thought together, he’d see that the Outright Vermont presentations for schools are about anti-discrimination, understanding and tolerance. Ironic, isn’t it, that Beaudry’s own reaction to the news that Outright Vermont was coming to his children’s school is the best proof yet that the presentations are needed. Me thinks Paul needs to attend. And badly.
The Burlington Free Press picked up on Beaudry’s anti-Outright Vermont tirade in an article in this morning’s edition. Here’s the best quote of the article from Beaudry: “I have friends who are gay and lesbians.”
Well, as we know from our nation’s not-so-distant racist and sexist past, when those kinds of lines start coming out of people’s mouths you know that they’re probably covering up for some pretty nasty notions lingering in their minds.
It wasn’t too long ago when it was common for people to say just as stupid things about blacks and Jews, for example. And it went something like this: “Some of my best friends are blacks. I just don’t want them recruiting my daughter for marriage.” And when the civil rights groups went to the south to preach integration, understanding and tolerance, the Beaudry’s of the world saw it as an invasion, a threat, and little more than a “recruitment” mission.
You’d think we’d all know better by now. But, as Beaudry’s proving, we don’t. And I, for one, am thankful for the fine folks at Outright Vermont who don’t flinch while they’re on the frontlines of yet another battle for inclusion. Bravo to you all.
It’s hard to know fact from fiction when it comes to Beaudry’s hysteria. He is, for example, making all kinds of paranoid accusations against anyone and everyone who thinks differently than him. Unfortunately, I’m all-too familiar with his very bad aim when it comes to his scatter-shot accusation. Because, as you’ll recall, Beaudry and his wife made some wild accusations about Snarky Boy that she eventually apologized for.
So when Beaudry’s now going on the air and breathlessly proclaiming that his tires have been slashed and he’s blaming Outright Vermont, I have to wonder how far his paranoid imagination is taking him. Let me say, though, that if it’s true that his tires were slashed, whoever did it should be ashamed, caught and prosecuted. But it is beyond reckless for Beaudry to take to the airwaves and accuse a very upstanding group of doing something so completely contrary to its mission. That’s called slander. If Beaudry’s got the facts, speak ‘em. But if it’s just conjecture –well – shut the hell up and stop fanning the flames of hate and intolerance.
It’s also very curious that each time Beaudry rants about being victimized, he includes a lengthy call for people to send him money to support his financially struggling radio show. After today’s bizarre performance, he even went so far as to ask “everyone listening to send $20 a month to the show.”
If that sounds familiar, just think back to the Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker days of televangelists. You remember them, right? If not, they were the ones who feigned a peculiar strain of sainthood and victimhood, bamboozled millions from gullible viewers and ultimately had to tearfully repent for being nothing but scam artists.
Yeah, Paul, we’ve seen your routine. And it ain’t pretty.
This whole episode should be a lesson to Vermonters about how far we have to go before true tolerance and inclusion can be a reality for ALL of us. Let’s hope the Beaudrys of Vermont will actually tone down their screaming long enough to attend an Outright Vermont workshop and learn a little something about truly loving your neighbors. Similarly, I hope everyone opposing Beaudry and his wingnut views will do so in a manner that is creative, effective AND legal. We do, you know, have reason on our side.
Snark on.
While working this morning, I was left alone long enough in the house to be able to turn on my radio and listen to WDEV for the first time in a couple of weeks. Wow, it didn’t take long for True North Radio’s Paul Beaudry to come ever-so-closer to the edge of sanity, did it? Ouch. Poor fella. He’s really losing it.
In case you missed it, Beaudry’s convinced that Outright Vermont, the gay and lesbian advocacy group, is on a mission to snatch up his and everyone else’s children and “convert them to the gay and lesbian lifestyle.” And he’s not kidding.
For those of us further along in our post-simian evolution, we firmly understand that Outright Vermont is simply about offering support to gays and lesbians and fighting the kinds of insidiously stupid accusations like those being made by the likes of Beaudry and his clan of knuckle-dragging ninnies.
I mean, come on: How in the hell does he think people can be “recruited to the gay and lesbian lifestyle”? You’ve either got the urge or you don’t. Besides, if there’s any kind of recruiting going on in our culture when it comes to a sexual lifestyle, it’s the heteroes leading that charge. Don’t believe me? Turn on the tube, open a magazine or newspaper, watch an advertisement for, say, beer, or, better yet, seek out any and all the news you can find about Anna Nicole Smith or Brittany Spears. As a Snarky Boy, I’m certain that they’re recruiting me to think about my groin while watching this crap.
This “recruit” nonsense is almost as dumb as the notion that these same people have about “curing” gays and lesbians. Yeah right. And the real scary thing about hearing Beaudry’s hate mongering on this is that he always prefaces his comments by declaring his “love” for “those people.” Sure, Paul, you love them so much that you want to “cure” them of their own love urges. Get a life. And get out of their lives.
Beaudry started flying his anti-Outright Vermont flag when he learned that they had been invited to give a presentation at the school in which his children attend. Gasp! In his simple mind, this meant that the school board, principal, teachers and – yes – students invited them to the school to offer some fertile recruiting ground. But if he’d take just a second to put a coherent thought together, he’d see that the Outright Vermont presentations for schools are about anti-discrimination, understanding and tolerance. Ironic, isn’t it, that Beaudry’s own reaction to the news that Outright Vermont was coming to his children’s school is the best proof yet that the presentations are needed. Me thinks Paul needs to attend. And badly.
The Burlington Free Press picked up on Beaudry’s anti-Outright Vermont tirade in an article in this morning’s edition. Here’s the best quote of the article from Beaudry: “I have friends who are gay and lesbians.”
Well, as we know from our nation’s not-so-distant racist and sexist past, when those kinds of lines start coming out of people’s mouths you know that they’re probably covering up for some pretty nasty notions lingering in their minds.
It wasn’t too long ago when it was common for people to say just as stupid things about blacks and Jews, for example. And it went something like this: “Some of my best friends are blacks. I just don’t want them recruiting my daughter for marriage.” And when the civil rights groups went to the south to preach integration, understanding and tolerance, the Beaudry’s of the world saw it as an invasion, a threat, and little more than a “recruitment” mission.
You’d think we’d all know better by now. But, as Beaudry’s proving, we don’t. And I, for one, am thankful for the fine folks at Outright Vermont who don’t flinch while they’re on the frontlines of yet another battle for inclusion. Bravo to you all.
It’s hard to know fact from fiction when it comes to Beaudry’s hysteria. He is, for example, making all kinds of paranoid accusations against anyone and everyone who thinks differently than him. Unfortunately, I’m all-too familiar with his very bad aim when it comes to his scatter-shot accusation. Because, as you’ll recall, Beaudry and his wife made some wild accusations about Snarky Boy that she eventually apologized for.
So when Beaudry’s now going on the air and breathlessly proclaiming that his tires have been slashed and he’s blaming Outright Vermont, I have to wonder how far his paranoid imagination is taking him. Let me say, though, that if it’s true that his tires were slashed, whoever did it should be ashamed, caught and prosecuted. But it is beyond reckless for Beaudry to take to the airwaves and accuse a very upstanding group of doing something so completely contrary to its mission. That’s called slander. If Beaudry’s got the facts, speak ‘em. But if it’s just conjecture –well – shut the hell up and stop fanning the flames of hate and intolerance.
It’s also very curious that each time Beaudry rants about being victimized, he includes a lengthy call for people to send him money to support his financially struggling radio show. After today’s bizarre performance, he even went so far as to ask “everyone listening to send $20 a month to the show.”
If that sounds familiar, just think back to the Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker days of televangelists. You remember them, right? If not, they were the ones who feigned a peculiar strain of sainthood and victimhood, bamboozled millions from gullible viewers and ultimately had to tearfully repent for being nothing but scam artists.
Yeah, Paul, we’ve seen your routine. And it ain’t pretty.
This whole episode should be a lesson to Vermonters about how far we have to go before true tolerance and inclusion can be a reality for ALL of us. Let’s hope the Beaudrys of Vermont will actually tone down their screaming long enough to attend an Outright Vermont workshop and learn a little something about truly loving your neighbors. Similarly, I hope everyone opposing Beaudry and his wingnut views will do so in a manner that is creative, effective AND legal. We do, you know, have reason on our side.
Snark on.
Beaudry Steps Off the Edge, Flails Widely, Sounds Foolish & Vindictive, and Calls it Just Another Day at the Office
Lucky you. I got kicked out of the job site early today. The lovely homeowners were “entertaining” this weekend and the grandkids were due to arrive this afternoon. You know the old rule: Never let the kids or grandkids see the hired help. I mean, come on, I could say or do something completely inappropriate. I just hope the little rugrats like the “butter rum” color of the living room. Poor kids, they’ll be inhaling the same fumes I’ve been inhaling. And the next they you know, they’ll be checking YouTube for the latest Slipknot videos, looking longingly in the window of Charlie O’s at completely inappropriate times of the day, and – sooner or later – figuring out how damn easy it is to start a blog and drive the power elite bonkers. Hmm, one can only hope.
While working this morning, I was left alone long enough in the house to be able to turn on my radio and listen to WDEV for the first time in a couple of weeks. Wow, it didn’t take long for True North Radio’s Paul Beaudry to come ever-so-closer to the edge of sanity, did it? Ouch. Poor fella. He’s really losing it.
In case you missed it, Beaudry’s convinced that Outright Vermont, the gay and lesbian advocacy group, is on a mission to snatch up his and everyone else’s children and “convert them to the gay and lesbian lifestyle.” And he’s not kidding.
For those of us further along in our post-simian evolution, we firmly understand that Outright Vermont is simply about offering support to gays and lesbians and fighting the kinds of insidiously stupid accusations like those being made by the likes of Beaudry and his clan of knuckle-dragging ninnies.
I mean, come on: How in the hell does he think people can be “recruited to the gay and lesbian lifestyle”? You’ve either got the urge or you don’t. Besides, if there’s any kind of recruiting going on in our culture when it comes to a sexual lifestyle, it’s the heteroes leading that charge. Don’t believe me? Turn on the tube, open a magazine or newspaper, watch an advertisement for, say, beer, or, better yet, seek out any and all the news you can find about Anna Nicole Smith or Brittany Spears. As a Snarky Boy, I’m certain that they’re recruiting me to think about my groin while watching this crap.
This “recruit” nonsense is almost as dumb as the notion that these same people have about “curing” gays and lesbians. Yeah right. And the real scary thing about hearing Beaudry’s hate mongering on this is that he always prefaces his comments by declaring his “love” for “those people.” Sure, Paul, you love them so much that you want to “cure” them of their own love urges. Get a life. And get out of their lives.
Beaudry started flying his anti-Outright Vermont flag when he learned that they had been invited to give a presentation at the school in which his children attend. Gasp! In his simple mind, this meant that the school board, principal, teachers and – yes – students invited them to the school to offer some fertile recruiting ground. But if he’d take just a second to put a coherent thought together, he’d see that the Outright Vermont presentations for schools are about anti-discrimination, understanding and tolerance. Ironic, isn’t it, that Beaudry’s own reaction to the news that Outright Vermont was coming to his children’s school is the best proof yet that the presentations are needed. Me thinks Paul needs to attend. And badly.
The Burlington Free Press picked up on Beaudry’s anti-Outright Vermont tirade in an article in this morning’s edition. Here’s the best quote of the article from Beaudry: “I have friends who are gay and lesbians.”
Well, as we know from our nation’s not-so-distant racist and sexist past, when those kinds of lines start coming out of people’s mouths you know that they’re probably covering up for some pretty nasty notions lingering in their minds.
It wasn’t too long ago when it was common for people to say just as stupid things about blacks and Jews, for example. And it went something like this: “Some of my best friends are blacks. I just don’t want them recruiting my daughter for marriage.” And when the civil rights groups went to the south to preach integration, understanding and tolerance, the Beaudry’s of the world saw it as an invasion, a threat, and little more than a “recruitment” mission.
You’d think we’d all know better by now. But, as Beaudry’s proving, we don’t. And I, for one, am thankful for the fine folks at Outright Vermont who don’t flinch while they’re on the frontlines of yet another battle for inclusion. Bravo to you all.
It’s hard to know fact from fiction when it comes to Beaudry’s hysteria. He is, for example, making all kinds of paranoid accusations against anyone and everyone who thinks differently than him. Unfortunately, I’m all-too familiar with his very bad aim when it comes to his scatter-shot accusation. Because, as you’ll recall, Beaudry and his wife made some wild accusations about Snarky Boy that she eventually apologized for.
So when Beaudry’s now going on the air and breathlessly proclaiming that his tires have been slashed and he’s blaming Outright Vermont, I have to wonder how far his paranoid imagination is taking him. Let me say, though, that if it’s true that his tires were slashed, whoever did it should be ashamed, caught and prosecuted. But it is beyond reckless for Beaudry to take to the airwaves and accuse a very upstanding group of doing something so completely contrary to its mission. That’s called slander. If Beaudry’s got the facts, speak ‘em. But if it’s just conjecture –well – shut the hell up and stop fanning the flames of hate and intolerance.
It’s also very curious that each time Beaudry rants about being victimized, he includes a lengthy call for people to send him money to support his financially struggling radio show. After today’s bizarre performance, he even went so far as to ask “everyone listening to send $20 a month to the show.”
If that sounds familiar, just think back to the Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker days of televangelists. You remember them, right? If not, they were the ones who feigned a peculiar strain of sainthood and victimhood, bamboozled millions from gullible viewers and ultimately had to tearfully repent for being nothing but scam artists.
Yeah, Paul, we’ve seen your routine. And it ain’t pretty.
This whole episode should be a lesson to Vermonters about how far we have to go before true tolerance and inclusion can be a reality for ALL of us. Let’s hope the Beaudrys of Vermont will actually tone down their screaming long enough to attend an Outright Vermont workshop and learn a little something about truly loving your neighbors. Similarly, I hope everyone opposing Beaudry and his wingnut views will do so in a manner that is creative, effective AND legal. We do, you know, have reason on our side.
Snark on.
While working this morning, I was left alone long enough in the house to be able to turn on my radio and listen to WDEV for the first time in a couple of weeks. Wow, it didn’t take long for True North Radio’s Paul Beaudry to come ever-so-closer to the edge of sanity, did it? Ouch. Poor fella. He’s really losing it.
In case you missed it, Beaudry’s convinced that Outright Vermont, the gay and lesbian advocacy group, is on a mission to snatch up his and everyone else’s children and “convert them to the gay and lesbian lifestyle.” And he’s not kidding.
For those of us further along in our post-simian evolution, we firmly understand that Outright Vermont is simply about offering support to gays and lesbians and fighting the kinds of insidiously stupid accusations like those being made by the likes of Beaudry and his clan of knuckle-dragging ninnies.
I mean, come on: How in the hell does he think people can be “recruited to the gay and lesbian lifestyle”? You’ve either got the urge or you don’t. Besides, if there’s any kind of recruiting going on in our culture when it comes to a sexual lifestyle, it’s the heteroes leading that charge. Don’t believe me? Turn on the tube, open a magazine or newspaper, watch an advertisement for, say, beer, or, better yet, seek out any and all the news you can find about Anna Nicole Smith or Brittany Spears. As a Snarky Boy, I’m certain that they’re recruiting me to think about my groin while watching this crap.
This “recruit” nonsense is almost as dumb as the notion that these same people have about “curing” gays and lesbians. Yeah right. And the real scary thing about hearing Beaudry’s hate mongering on this is that he always prefaces his comments by declaring his “love” for “those people.” Sure, Paul, you love them so much that you want to “cure” them of their own love urges. Get a life. And get out of their lives.
Beaudry started flying his anti-Outright Vermont flag when he learned that they had been invited to give a presentation at the school in which his children attend. Gasp! In his simple mind, this meant that the school board, principal, teachers and – yes – students invited them to the school to offer some fertile recruiting ground. But if he’d take just a second to put a coherent thought together, he’d see that the Outright Vermont presentations for schools are about anti-discrimination, understanding and tolerance. Ironic, isn’t it, that Beaudry’s own reaction to the news that Outright Vermont was coming to his children’s school is the best proof yet that the presentations are needed. Me thinks Paul needs to attend. And badly.
The Burlington Free Press picked up on Beaudry’s anti-Outright Vermont tirade in an article in this morning’s edition. Here’s the best quote of the article from Beaudry: “I have friends who are gay and lesbians.”
Well, as we know from our nation’s not-so-distant racist and sexist past, when those kinds of lines start coming out of people’s mouths you know that they’re probably covering up for some pretty nasty notions lingering in their minds.
It wasn’t too long ago when it was common for people to say just as stupid things about blacks and Jews, for example. And it went something like this: “Some of my best friends are blacks. I just don’t want them recruiting my daughter for marriage.” And when the civil rights groups went to the south to preach integration, understanding and tolerance, the Beaudry’s of the world saw it as an invasion, a threat, and little more than a “recruitment” mission.
You’d think we’d all know better by now. But, as Beaudry’s proving, we don’t. And I, for one, am thankful for the fine folks at Outright Vermont who don’t flinch while they’re on the frontlines of yet another battle for inclusion. Bravo to you all.
It’s hard to know fact from fiction when it comes to Beaudry’s hysteria. He is, for example, making all kinds of paranoid accusations against anyone and everyone who thinks differently than him. Unfortunately, I’m all-too familiar with his very bad aim when it comes to his scatter-shot accusation. Because, as you’ll recall, Beaudry and his wife made some wild accusations about Snarky Boy that she eventually apologized for.
So when Beaudry’s now going on the air and breathlessly proclaiming that his tires have been slashed and he’s blaming Outright Vermont, I have to wonder how far his paranoid imagination is taking him. Let me say, though, that if it’s true that his tires were slashed, whoever did it should be ashamed, caught and prosecuted. But it is beyond reckless for Beaudry to take to the airwaves and accuse a very upstanding group of doing something so completely contrary to its mission. That’s called slander. If Beaudry’s got the facts, speak ‘em. But if it’s just conjecture –well – shut the hell up and stop fanning the flames of hate and intolerance.
It’s also very curious that each time Beaudry rants about being victimized, he includes a lengthy call for people to send him money to support his financially struggling radio show. After today’s bizarre performance, he even went so far as to ask “everyone listening to send $20 a month to the show.”
If that sounds familiar, just think back to the Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker days of televangelists. You remember them, right? If not, they were the ones who feigned a peculiar strain of sainthood and victimhood, bamboozled millions from gullible viewers and ultimately had to tearfully repent for being nothing but scam artists.
Yeah, Paul, we’ve seen your routine. And it ain’t pretty.
This whole episode should be a lesson to Vermonters about how far we have to go before true tolerance and inclusion can be a reality for ALL of us. Let’s hope the Beaudrys of Vermont will actually tone down their screaming long enough to attend an Outright Vermont workshop and learn a little something about truly loving your neighbors. Similarly, I hope everyone opposing Beaudry and his wingnut views will do so in a manner that is creative, effective AND legal. We do, you know, have reason on our side.
Snark on.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Boys Night Out
Well, well, well, it’s amazing what a night out will do for insider tips and such. Whew. I needed that. After a hellishly long day of smearing just the right shade of “butter rum” on an elderly couple’s second home, your Snarky Boy hopped in the car for a different kind of venue: Waterbury’s best, The Alchemist. Oops, did I say, Waterbury’s best? I meant to say: Waterbury’s only. And you know what I mean. But if you don’t, just go there and then you’ll know. It’s the best. Deal with it.
It seemed to be lobbyists’ night out in Waterbury because, quite frankly, they were swarming. Worse, they all seemed to want a piece of Snarky Boy with their tips and such. What can I say, they trust me. And they should. Just as they should know that the news that flows from their lips should not be inaccurate because the Snarky Boy has ways of making their houses turn strange colors in the deep, dark hours of the night. Whatever.
So, dear readers, here are the tips for the evening before my tired head hits the pillow with nothing but images of the second-home folks peering in to see if the
stupid “butter rum” is more butter or more rum as it dries. Oh baby, feel the excitement.
Governor Douglas will be appointing Jon Anderson to replace Francis Brooks in the State Legislature. And the reasons are as clear as they are obvious: Mayor Hooper is too ambitious (read: she'll use the seat as a launching pad to take on Senator Phil Scott) and the rest of the candidates are too – well – unknown and undeserving. While I totally understand the part about the “other” candidates, I’m having a hell of a hard time understanding the threat of Hooper. I mean, come on, she’s like the paint I see drying all day long on the walls: b-o-r-i-n-g. Worse, she’s the kind of liberal who pretends to be all about where she’s at right now but you know she’s looking past you to her next great endeavor. Yep, you know the kind: they’ll talk with you in public until someone “better” comes down the road. Hats off to the Governor for recognizing this. But my guess is that Anderson will be facing Hooper in the next election anyway so, ultimately, the starry-eyed Montpelier voters will get their say on this soon enough. One thing’s for sure, though: the dopey little Dem blog, Green Mountain Daily, will be kissing some serious wife ass after pretending she was in the running for the seat when, in fact, everyone in the know is laughing about his husbandly conjectures. Oh boy, the things some boys will do to get (temporarily) laid.
Peter Welch is quickly being known as the “ambulance chasing” congressman. Hey, what can you say, Welch-the-lawyer has been chasing ambulances for so long that it’s apparently hard to get it out of his system. Welch is so intent on pandering that he’s signed onto all kinds of contradictory pieces of legislation, especially when it comes to the Iraq war. After he got his hand caught reaching for the Bush autograph at the State of the Union, Welch has tried to play catch-up by signing onto about every piece of legislation that pretends to end the war. The problem, of course, is that when you look at all the things Welch has signed onto you have to wonder if he ever bothered to read any of the bills. Welch has, for example, signed onto legislation that would not toothlessly condemn the escalation, end the war in nine months, end the war in twelve months, and seek to end the war within 24 months. Talk about covering your bases. Good grief. Hey Peter-the-Panderer, why not believe in something and fight for it?
Speaking of Peter-the-Panderer, you gotta love his thirteenth hour call for an investigation into the news that veterans of the Iraq war were receiving substandard care at the Veterans Administration hospitals. Sure, it’s great that he saw the problem, but you gotta wonder about his timing (hint: he was way late). Specifically, Peter-the-Panderer came out “swinging” with his request for an investigation nearly 36 hours after everybody and their mother had already demanded the same kind of investigation as a result of the immense media coverage of the problem. But being late never bothers ambulance chasers. Not, at least, when you’ve got a chance at scoring some press. And, trust me, the Vermont media played along with Peter by somehow making his pandering “news.” As usual, though, the best coverage of Peter’s pandering came from WDEV’s morning news service. While announcing Welch’s “call for an investigation” into the sub-substandard medical care for Iraqi war veterans, the WDEV hosts couldn’t help but chuckle and declare, “well, Welch and about every other member of congress has called for this investigation.” Yep, pandering has its own distinct smell. Call it: obvious.
While we’re on Welch, there was all kinds of chuckling over his ridiculous “official” congressional website. Check it out HERE if you haven’t seen it lately. Remember, this is the website from a successful candidate who declared that he was going to hit the ground running and take whacks at Bush like no other elected official has whacked him – or something like that.
But let’s look at what he’s got for us now that he’s known he’s had the office for nearly four months: Nada. Oops, that’s not quite right, because he’s got a lot of nonsense about – well – the nonsense of being Peter. His main message still seems to revolve around this equation:
And, please, as much as I look at it, it still seems to add up to the same thing: Zero. Leave it to the liberals, they can always make being a zero seem like something. But it’s not, because zero is always zero.
But now scroll down from Peter’s great zero proclamation and see what he has to offer his constituents. Yep, you see it as plain as I see it: the opportunity to download a “high-resolution” photo of Peter. Ew. Has he lost his mind? I mean, come on, Larry Birkhead he’s not.
Did I miss something, or did Welch campaign for the opportunity to provide Vermonters with the ability to download “high-resolution” photos of himself? Damn, I really thought I was paying attention during the campaign and heard Welch talking about taking on Bush, ending the war and providing health care for all. Oops, there goes the ambulance chaser in him, thinking that if he just features his photo with a flag people will swoon and hire him. Hey Peter, you’re elected, now get to work.
I’ve got more but I’m running into the wee hours of the evening. Let’s call it a night, with the promise that we’ll have a date by lunchtime to continue the conversation.
Thanks for playing, dear readers. The snarky pleasure is all mine.
It seemed to be lobbyists’ night out in Waterbury because, quite frankly, they were swarming. Worse, they all seemed to want a piece of Snarky Boy with their tips and such. What can I say, they trust me. And they should. Just as they should know that the news that flows from their lips should not be inaccurate because the Snarky Boy has ways of making their houses turn strange colors in the deep, dark hours of the night. Whatever.
So, dear readers, here are the tips for the evening before my tired head hits the pillow with nothing but images of the second-home folks peering in to see if the
stupid “butter rum” is more butter or more rum as it dries. Oh baby, feel the excitement.
Governor Douglas will be appointing Jon Anderson to replace Francis Brooks in the State Legislature. And the reasons are as clear as they are obvious: Mayor Hooper is too ambitious (read: she'll use the seat as a launching pad to take on Senator Phil Scott) and the rest of the candidates are too – well – unknown and undeserving. While I totally understand the part about the “other” candidates, I’m having a hell of a hard time understanding the threat of Hooper. I mean, come on, she’s like the paint I see drying all day long on the walls: b-o-r-i-n-g. Worse, she’s the kind of liberal who pretends to be all about where she’s at right now but you know she’s looking past you to her next great endeavor. Yep, you know the kind: they’ll talk with you in public until someone “better” comes down the road. Hats off to the Governor for recognizing this. But my guess is that Anderson will be facing Hooper in the next election anyway so, ultimately, the starry-eyed Montpelier voters will get their say on this soon enough. One thing’s for sure, though: the dopey little Dem blog, Green Mountain Daily, will be kissing some serious wife ass after pretending she was in the running for the seat when, in fact, everyone in the know is laughing about his husbandly conjectures. Oh boy, the things some boys will do to get (temporarily) laid.
Peter Welch is quickly being known as the “ambulance chasing” congressman. Hey, what can you say, Welch-the-lawyer has been chasing ambulances for so long that it’s apparently hard to get it out of his system. Welch is so intent on pandering that he’s signed onto all kinds of contradictory pieces of legislation, especially when it comes to the Iraq war. After he got his hand caught reaching for the Bush autograph at the State of the Union, Welch has tried to play catch-up by signing onto about every piece of legislation that pretends to end the war. The problem, of course, is that when you look at all the things Welch has signed onto you have to wonder if he ever bothered to read any of the bills. Welch has, for example, signed onto legislation that would not toothlessly condemn the escalation, end the war in nine months, end the war in twelve months, and seek to end the war within 24 months. Talk about covering your bases. Good grief. Hey Peter-the-Panderer, why not believe in something and fight for it?
Speaking of Peter-the-Panderer, you gotta love his thirteenth hour call for an investigation into the news that veterans of the Iraq war were receiving substandard care at the Veterans Administration hospitals. Sure, it’s great that he saw the problem, but you gotta wonder about his timing (hint: he was way late). Specifically, Peter-the-Panderer came out “swinging” with his request for an investigation nearly 36 hours after everybody and their mother had already demanded the same kind of investigation as a result of the immense media coverage of the problem. But being late never bothers ambulance chasers. Not, at least, when you’ve got a chance at scoring some press. And, trust me, the Vermont media played along with Peter by somehow making his pandering “news.” As usual, though, the best coverage of Peter’s pandering came from WDEV’s morning news service. While announcing Welch’s “call for an investigation” into the sub-substandard medical care for Iraqi war veterans, the WDEV hosts couldn’t help but chuckle and declare, “well, Welch and about every other member of congress has called for this investigation.” Yep, pandering has its own distinct smell. Call it: obvious.
While we’re on Welch, there was all kinds of chuckling over his ridiculous “official” congressional website. Check it out HERE if you haven’t seen it lately. Remember, this is the website from a successful candidate who declared that he was going to hit the ground running and take whacks at Bush like no other elected official has whacked him – or something like that.
But let’s look at what he’s got for us now that he’s known he’s had the office for nearly four months: Nada. Oops, that’s not quite right, because he’s got a lot of nonsense about – well – the nonsense of being Peter. His main message still seems to revolve around this equation:
And, please, as much as I look at it, it still seems to add up to the same thing: Zero. Leave it to the liberals, they can always make being a zero seem like something. But it’s not, because zero is always zero.
But now scroll down from Peter’s great zero proclamation and see what he has to offer his constituents. Yep, you see it as plain as I see it: the opportunity to download a “high-resolution” photo of Peter. Ew. Has he lost his mind? I mean, come on, Larry Birkhead he’s not.
Did I miss something, or did Welch campaign for the opportunity to provide Vermonters with the ability to download “high-resolution” photos of himself? Damn, I really thought I was paying attention during the campaign and heard Welch talking about taking on Bush, ending the war and providing health care for all. Oops, there goes the ambulance chaser in him, thinking that if he just features his photo with a flag people will swoon and hire him. Hey Peter, you’re elected, now get to work.
I’ve got more but I’m running into the wee hours of the evening. Let’s call it a night, with the promise that we’ll have a date by lunchtime to continue the conversation.
Thanks for playing, dear readers. The snarky pleasure is all mine.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
You Want It, You Got It
Hey. Let’s take a ride on Snarky Boy’s random side. But, first, let me thank you all once again for the stimulating emails. It’s a snarky treat to know you’re gobbling up the words and throwing the arrows right back at me when you see fit. I can take it, and keep ‘em coming at vtsnarkyboy@yahoo.com.
The best note of the day came from a tipster who informed me that Snarky Boy had been “outed.” Yep, outed. Over at the sleepy site where you read headlines like, “Leahy Working Hard,” “Welch Off and Running,” and “Sanders’ Shit Still Doesn’t Stink” (and they should know because he craps on them everyday), they’ve come up with another of their child’s play posts claiming to know who I am. Yeah, child’s play.
But they’re as wrong as they are wrong-headed. What is it with liberals and their need to scold, denigrate and punish – all in the name of – well – being liberal? And the worst thing about them is that no matter how much they keep losing, they just keep doing the same old thing. Worse, they simply don’t trust – or honor -- the people they proclaim to care about. Don’t believe me? Well, attend one of their meetings some time and just see how long it takes for you to hear something like: “We can’t go too fast…we can’t say that…wait until after the election…or -- my favorite – it won’t happen in our lifetimes.”
You know what I’m talking about, too. Take the war. Even though 70-plus percent of the population is against the war, the Dem-liberals still can’t find the courage to propose AND push anything that would cater to the vast majority of the American public who are waiting for some action. Quick, introduce another meaningless resolution….
Holy shit, there’s some excitement, huh?
And it’s not excitement they’re looking for, either. Nope. They just want to be seen in a public setting as if to be caring. Public participation for these folks is like one big Catholic confessional: It really doesn’t mean squat but it “makes you feel good.” Whatever.
As you, dear readers, know, Snarky Boy is a very equal opportunity attack dog. I’ve got a nose for bullshit and I relish the opportunity to find it up here in the Green Mountain State. And it ain’t hard – it’s everywhere! Go ahead, smell around for yourselves and see what you come up with.
But I find it nothing short of hilarious – and not surprising – that it’s the liberals who can’t take a poke, a joke or the heat. Because it’s the liberals who have – according to my emails -- breathlessly pondered my identity and tossed about all kinds of dopey little accusations and name calling. Oh sure, label me. That hurts. Not.
If you don’t believe how goddamn lifeless and joyless the liberals are, just imagine being at a party with Leahy, Sanders and Welch. Ew. And, please, tell me the last time you saw Bernie Sanders smile or laugh when it didn’t involve the fact that he’s become a millionaire while decrying millionaires. Oops, I forgot, he only does that when he’s snuggling Jane and they’re giggling over the fact that she was his “media buyer” for his 6-million-dollar-campaign, thus “earning” 15% of the costs of the media buys. Yeah, you do the math. Couldn’t they have found a poor farmer’s wife to take that gig?
So let me be clear: You’re pondering is wrong and wrong-headed. I am Snarky Boy. Hear me roar. I’m no “radical.” I’m no foundation-funded activist. I’m just a working boy with enough time to keep my ear to the ground, my mind active, and – like I already said – one hell of a bullshit detector. Deal with it.
If you don’t want to play, stop reading. But you won’t. Trust me on that one.
--
Ugh. Now that that’s out of my system, let’s look at the news: Mayor Thom Lauzon and his nest of ninnies on the Barre City Council did what you’d expect a bunch of reactionaries to do: They thumbed their noses at the committee they appointed to look into a teen curfew and, against the committees wishes, voted 5-to-1 to approve the 10 p.m. curfew for the city’s youth. Take that, tomorrow’s leaders!
Barre’s little Napoleon, Mayor Lauzon, had this to say to a Barre resident who noted at last night’s meeting that the City Council and the Mayor have repeatedly appointed committees and then ignored their advice: “Ultimately…it’s my vote and I’m going to vote the way I feel.”
Yep, and we remember when little Thommy said the same thing when he took his ball and went home during recess at Barre’s elementary school.
Like I said in previous posts: This man is scary. And, since he’s trying to legislate every behavior that he doesn’t relate to, let me suggest some new initiatives he could champion on my behalf:
Now get working, Thommy.
--
“Give Us Your Rural & Poor, And We’ll Send ‘Em to War.” If there was a Statue of Liberty being christened today, that’s what it would say. Because, according to the Department of Defense, the states with the highest number of U.S. military casualties per capita in Iraq were: Vermont, South Dakota, Alaska, North Dakota, Nebraska and Wyoming.
Yes, Vermont IS rural and poor.
--
Speaking of rural and poor, gotta love the Burlington Free Press piece from earlier this week that announced what many of us already knew: The family farm that includes the genes and love-lines of Governor Jim Douglas has been employing illegal Mexican immigrants for years. Hats off to Sam Hemingway of the Free Press for getting this story the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, however, the story will most likely die before it gets traction, mostly because Jimmy D. basically squashed it by saying the usually dopey kinds of things that he says, like: “Well, what else were we supposed to do?” And the rest of the Vermont media rolled over for yet another nice belly scratch and the hopes that they, too, will be able to work for Jimmy D. if they keep their mouths shut about his policies.
--
Letter to the Editor of the Day: Stewart Skrill of Randolph Center, a sometimes cogent and sometimes loony letter writer, had this fine commentary in today’s Times Argus letters section regarding the efforts by the Vermont legislature to help dairy farmers:
Skrill noted that those dairy farmers who saw the light of day several years ago and switched to organic aren’t in need of state or federal aid at this time. Nope. It’s just the dairy dinosaurs who keep whining and pretending that keep getting hand-out after hand-out from Montpelier and Washington politicians who won’t say what needs to be said: Vermont can’t compete in the industrial dairy model. Period.
Instead, these politicians keep shedding crocodile tears and writing blank checks for business people – er, farmers – who keep dousing their land with toxic chemicals, injecting their cows with carcinogens and crying about how unfair it is that they can’t keep making a living while polluting. Boo-fucking-hoo.
The Snarky Boy is still waiting for the politician who will step up to the plate and say: Industrial dairying cannot and should not work in Vermont. And then they would introduce a “Death with Dignity” act for those dairy farmers who refuse to see the light and make the switch to organic. Don’t hold your breath.
--
You can’t want more, can you? Good. Because I was sniffing paint fumes all day and I’m scared about what will come out of me next.
See you tomorrow. Snark on.
The best note of the day came from a tipster who informed me that Snarky Boy had been “outed.” Yep, outed. Over at the sleepy site where you read headlines like, “Leahy Working Hard,” “Welch Off and Running,” and “Sanders’ Shit Still Doesn’t Stink” (and they should know because he craps on them everyday), they’ve come up with another of their child’s play posts claiming to know who I am. Yeah, child’s play.
But they’re as wrong as they are wrong-headed. What is it with liberals and their need to scold, denigrate and punish – all in the name of – well – being liberal? And the worst thing about them is that no matter how much they keep losing, they just keep doing the same old thing. Worse, they simply don’t trust – or honor -- the people they proclaim to care about. Don’t believe me? Well, attend one of their meetings some time and just see how long it takes for you to hear something like: “We can’t go too fast…we can’t say that…wait until after the election…or -- my favorite – it won’t happen in our lifetimes.”
You know what I’m talking about, too. Take the war. Even though 70-plus percent of the population is against the war, the Dem-liberals still can’t find the courage to propose AND push anything that would cater to the vast majority of the American public who are waiting for some action. Quick, introduce another meaningless resolution….
Holy shit, there’s some excitement, huh?
And it’s not excitement they’re looking for, either. Nope. They just want to be seen in a public setting as if to be caring. Public participation for these folks is like one big Catholic confessional: It really doesn’t mean squat but it “makes you feel good.” Whatever.
As you, dear readers, know, Snarky Boy is a very equal opportunity attack dog. I’ve got a nose for bullshit and I relish the opportunity to find it up here in the Green Mountain State. And it ain’t hard – it’s everywhere! Go ahead, smell around for yourselves and see what you come up with.
But I find it nothing short of hilarious – and not surprising – that it’s the liberals who can’t take a poke, a joke or the heat. Because it’s the liberals who have – according to my emails -- breathlessly pondered my identity and tossed about all kinds of dopey little accusations and name calling. Oh sure, label me. That hurts. Not.
If you don’t believe how goddamn lifeless and joyless the liberals are, just imagine being at a party with Leahy, Sanders and Welch. Ew. And, please, tell me the last time you saw Bernie Sanders smile or laugh when it didn’t involve the fact that he’s become a millionaire while decrying millionaires. Oops, I forgot, he only does that when he’s snuggling Jane and they’re giggling over the fact that she was his “media buyer” for his 6-million-dollar-campaign, thus “earning” 15% of the costs of the media buys. Yeah, you do the math. Couldn’t they have found a poor farmer’s wife to take that gig?
So let me be clear: You’re pondering is wrong and wrong-headed. I am Snarky Boy. Hear me roar. I’m no “radical.” I’m no foundation-funded activist. I’m just a working boy with enough time to keep my ear to the ground, my mind active, and – like I already said – one hell of a bullshit detector. Deal with it.
If you don’t want to play, stop reading. But you won’t. Trust me on that one.
--
Ugh. Now that that’s out of my system, let’s look at the news: Mayor Thom Lauzon and his nest of ninnies on the Barre City Council did what you’d expect a bunch of reactionaries to do: They thumbed their noses at the committee they appointed to look into a teen curfew and, against the committees wishes, voted 5-to-1 to approve the 10 p.m. curfew for the city’s youth. Take that, tomorrow’s leaders!
Barre’s little Napoleon, Mayor Lauzon, had this to say to a Barre resident who noted at last night’s meeting that the City Council and the Mayor have repeatedly appointed committees and then ignored their advice: “Ultimately…it’s my vote and I’m going to vote the way I feel.”
Yep, and we remember when little Thommy said the same thing when he took his ball and went home during recess at Barre’s elementary school.
Like I said in previous posts: This man is scary. And, since he’s trying to legislate every behavior that he doesn’t relate to, let me suggest some new initiatives he could champion on my behalf:
Lobbyists – like cockroaches -- should not be allowed to be seen in daylight;
Journalists – like cockroaches – should not be allowed to work for those they were pretending to cover;
Politicians – like cockroaches – should not be allowed to hold office in Vermont for as long as they damn well please;
And mayors of working class towns – like cockroaches – should not be allowed to scurry from sight when the light of the people shines upon them.
Now get working, Thommy.
--
“Give Us Your Rural & Poor, And We’ll Send ‘Em to War.” If there was a Statue of Liberty being christened today, that’s what it would say. Because, according to the Department of Defense, the states with the highest number of U.S. military casualties per capita in Iraq were: Vermont, South Dakota, Alaska, North Dakota, Nebraska and Wyoming.
Yes, Vermont IS rural and poor.
--
Speaking of rural and poor, gotta love the Burlington Free Press piece from earlier this week that announced what many of us already knew: The family farm that includes the genes and love-lines of Governor Jim Douglas has been employing illegal Mexican immigrants for years. Hats off to Sam Hemingway of the Free Press for getting this story the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, however, the story will most likely die before it gets traction, mostly because Jimmy D. basically squashed it by saying the usually dopey kinds of things that he says, like: “Well, what else were we supposed to do?” And the rest of the Vermont media rolled over for yet another nice belly scratch and the hopes that they, too, will be able to work for Jimmy D. if they keep their mouths shut about his policies.
--
Letter to the Editor of the Day: Stewart Skrill of Randolph Center, a sometimes cogent and sometimes loony letter writer, had this fine commentary in today’s Times Argus letters section regarding the efforts by the Vermont legislature to help dairy farmers:
I would like someone to show me where in the Vermont Constitution it says that the state must come to my aid if I make a bad business decision.
Skrill noted that those dairy farmers who saw the light of day several years ago and switched to organic aren’t in need of state or federal aid at this time. Nope. It’s just the dairy dinosaurs who keep whining and pretending that keep getting hand-out after hand-out from Montpelier and Washington politicians who won’t say what needs to be said: Vermont can’t compete in the industrial dairy model. Period.
Instead, these politicians keep shedding crocodile tears and writing blank checks for business people – er, farmers – who keep dousing their land with toxic chemicals, injecting their cows with carcinogens and crying about how unfair it is that they can’t keep making a living while polluting. Boo-fucking-hoo.
The Snarky Boy is still waiting for the politician who will step up to the plate and say: Industrial dairying cannot and should not work in Vermont. And then they would introduce a “Death with Dignity” act for those dairy farmers who refuse to see the light and make the switch to organic. Don’t hold your breath.
--
You can’t want more, can you? Good. Because I was sniffing paint fumes all day and I’m scared about what will come out of me next.
See you tomorrow. Snark on.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Mayor & The Titty Bar; How Lauzon is Trying to Take the Barre Out of Barre [updated below]
What is it about Barre’s mayor, Thomas Lauzon, that makes me want to dislike him? Oh wait, now I know: he was the little nerdy rich kid who thought – emphasis on “thought” – he knew everything. And then all you wanted to do was pick on him and then hope that someday he wouldn’t grow up to be mayor with a chip on his shoulder.
Damn. I lost that one, too. Because now little Tommy Lauzon IS the mayor and he seems hell bent on reminding everyone that he’s got the power to be an ass – legally. Whatever.
But before he gets too out of control with his little vengeance of the nerd stuff, could someone please remind him that he’s just the mayor of Barre? Good grief. Can you say: Napoleon complex? I knew you could.
Earth to Tommy – er, I forgot, he spells it “Thommy” because he can: Go to the Dunkin Donuts and shut the fuck up already.
For those who like to believe that the Barre end of the Barre-Montpelier Road doesn’t exist, let me clue you in on some of Lauzon’s very public antics. My favorite was when he decided to confront a Barre family for putting a sign in their window during the holiday season that said “Fuck X-mas.”
Lauzon didn’t just call the police on this one. He became the police. And with all the huffing and puffing of a man obsessed with taking the Barre out of Barre, he knocked on the door and demanded the removal of the sign. The owners, apparently knowing the old adage that it’s the small dogs that usually bite, asked the frantic mayor for the proper citation. Lauzon grabbed the appropriate key from his dangling keychain of importance, opened whatever office he needed to open, rifled through the laws of Barre, and then came back with the photo copy of the ordinance that said something like “no foul mouth signs.” And down it came. But – just as fast – out came the word from Thommy himself about his heroic mission, ridding Barre of the vulgar sign. So, dear heroin dealers and doers, rest assured, you won’t have your buzz trampled on by some foul mouth sign as long as Thommy’s in control.
Speaking of heroin, Thommy was also part of the highly publicized drug busts in Barre last winter. Oh baby, he was so proud of himself. He was cracking down – pun intended. But the people of Barre knew it was bullshit. They do, after all, live there. And they’ve seen it all before: crack down on one crack house or block and watch them scurry to the next house or block. But the Thommy Lauzon’s of the world will never quite figure out that it takes more than brick bats and the badges of power to fight drugs. It takes jobs, hope, opportunity and inclusion to win that war.
Speaking of inclusion, let’s look at Thommy’s very drug-free life. His wife, a collector of fancy horses, is the proud owner of an offspring of a horse owned by George Steinbrenner. Do the math on what that particular whinnying probably cost the family. Oh, you don’t know who Steinbrenner is? He’s the owner of the New York Yankees. Need I say more?
So how fucked up is that? The Mayor of Barre has a George Steinbrenner horse. I wonder if he takes it to Thunder Road?
One place I know he won’t take it to is Planet Rock, the Barre “gentleman’s club” that features things that make men not-so-gentle: boobs. Yeah, it’s a strip club. And Mayor Thommy decided from day one that he was going to hassle this historical Barre establishment right out of business.
Once again, Mayor Thommy and his curmudgeonly band of non-merry makers, threw the book at Planet Rock and its owner, Danny Garr. The charge? Well, the dancers apparently broke the Barre ordinance clearly put in place to harass them that declared that the dancers couldn’t get within three feet – three feet! – of the patrons.
Now, in a point of disclosure, let me admit to frequenting these kinds of clubs in my not-so-distant snarky past (you know – ahem -- innocent bachelor parties and all). And let me say that there is absolutely no way anyone could possible put the tips these ladies work for into the places they expect them to be put without coming within three INCHES of them. But three feet? Forgetabouit. The poor girls would starve. There I go, getting all politically correct and all.
Well, last fall one of Thommy’s little city narks was out and about and – gasp! – noticed someone obviously breaking the three-foot rule (that must have taken some real sleuthing!). And, to make a long story shorter, Thommy and the city of Barre threw the book at them, including stripping (pun intended again) them of their entertainment license and dragging them through a labyrinth of bureaucracy and public ridicule.
In the end, Mayor Thommy and the city council all but asked Garr and the other folks at Planet Rock to hold church services between dances in order to keep operating. Okay, okay, I’m exaggerating, but that’s my right, damn it.
In response, Garr announced last week that he’s suing Thommy, the city and all but one of the city councilors for violating his constitutional rights in their handling of his license renewal request. Oh baby, this one should get interesting. I’m just hoping that Garr gets a jury trial, gets Lauzon on the witness stand, and then tantalizes the crap out of him with the three-foot rule. Take that, Thommy!
But I guess all I really wanted to say was that I don’t like Mayor Lauzon. Try as hard as you want, Thommy, but you can’t take Barre out of Barre. So, please, get off your high horse – even if it is George Steinbrenner’s horse.
Snark on.
[Lauzon Update: Sorry, I had to get up and out the door this morning and I didn’t have time to look at the newspapers until lunch time. And, there it was, the headline story in the Times Argus that jarred my faulty memory on the other bit of over-lording Barre’s Mayor Thom has been up to: a teen curfew. Yep, he’s apparently trying to turn Barre into Baghdad – at least for teens – by forcing them off the streets by 10 p.m.
But, as David Delcore of the Times Argus reports today, Mayor Thom’s plan has hit a “speed bump” in the name of the Greater Barre Citizens Public Safety Committee, a group that voted overwhelmingly to nix the curfew idea and take its recommendation to the mayor and the city council tonight.
Oh yeah, I love it when people push back at this kind of nonsense. Bravo to this group. And bravo to the groups like New Directions for Greater Barre that actually work with teens to help them find some meaningful activities and stepped up to question this kind of punitive approach to wandering teens.
The people of Barre should be very concerned that their mayor is acting so tyrannical. He’s acting out the old adage that when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. And Lauzon just keeps whacking anything and everything that gets in his way or his rather undemocratic vision.
Please, Barre, stop this madman. And let him get an earful tonight. Because Barre ain’t Baghdad. And Barre’s teens ain’t terrorists. They’re just kids looking for some direction – er, make that New Directions.]
Damn. I lost that one, too. Because now little Tommy Lauzon IS the mayor and he seems hell bent on reminding everyone that he’s got the power to be an ass – legally. Whatever.
But before he gets too out of control with his little vengeance of the nerd stuff, could someone please remind him that he’s just the mayor of Barre? Good grief. Can you say: Napoleon complex? I knew you could.
Earth to Tommy – er, I forgot, he spells it “Thommy” because he can: Go to the Dunkin Donuts and shut the fuck up already.
For those who like to believe that the Barre end of the Barre-Montpelier Road doesn’t exist, let me clue you in on some of Lauzon’s very public antics. My favorite was when he decided to confront a Barre family for putting a sign in their window during the holiday season that said “Fuck X-mas.”
Lauzon didn’t just call the police on this one. He became the police. And with all the huffing and puffing of a man obsessed with taking the Barre out of Barre, he knocked on the door and demanded the removal of the sign. The owners, apparently knowing the old adage that it’s the small dogs that usually bite, asked the frantic mayor for the proper citation. Lauzon grabbed the appropriate key from his dangling keychain of importance, opened whatever office he needed to open, rifled through the laws of Barre, and then came back with the photo copy of the ordinance that said something like “no foul mouth signs.” And down it came. But – just as fast – out came the word from Thommy himself about his heroic mission, ridding Barre of the vulgar sign. So, dear heroin dealers and doers, rest assured, you won’t have your buzz trampled on by some foul mouth sign as long as Thommy’s in control.
Speaking of heroin, Thommy was also part of the highly publicized drug busts in Barre last winter. Oh baby, he was so proud of himself. He was cracking down – pun intended. But the people of Barre knew it was bullshit. They do, after all, live there. And they’ve seen it all before: crack down on one crack house or block and watch them scurry to the next house or block. But the Thommy Lauzon’s of the world will never quite figure out that it takes more than brick bats and the badges of power to fight drugs. It takes jobs, hope, opportunity and inclusion to win that war.
Speaking of inclusion, let’s look at Thommy’s very drug-free life. His wife, a collector of fancy horses, is the proud owner of an offspring of a horse owned by George Steinbrenner. Do the math on what that particular whinnying probably cost the family. Oh, you don’t know who Steinbrenner is? He’s the owner of the New York Yankees. Need I say more?
So how fucked up is that? The Mayor of Barre has a George Steinbrenner horse. I wonder if he takes it to Thunder Road?
One place I know he won’t take it to is Planet Rock, the Barre “gentleman’s club” that features things that make men not-so-gentle: boobs. Yeah, it’s a strip club. And Mayor Thommy decided from day one that he was going to hassle this historical Barre establishment right out of business.
Once again, Mayor Thommy and his curmudgeonly band of non-merry makers, threw the book at Planet Rock and its owner, Danny Garr. The charge? Well, the dancers apparently broke the Barre ordinance clearly put in place to harass them that declared that the dancers couldn’t get within three feet – three feet! – of the patrons.
Now, in a point of disclosure, let me admit to frequenting these kinds of clubs in my not-so-distant snarky past (you know – ahem -- innocent bachelor parties and all). And let me say that there is absolutely no way anyone could possible put the tips these ladies work for into the places they expect them to be put without coming within three INCHES of them. But three feet? Forgetabouit. The poor girls would starve. There I go, getting all politically correct and all.
Well, last fall one of Thommy’s little city narks was out and about and – gasp! – noticed someone obviously breaking the three-foot rule (that must have taken some real sleuthing!). And, to make a long story shorter, Thommy and the city of Barre threw the book at them, including stripping (pun intended again) them of their entertainment license and dragging them through a labyrinth of bureaucracy and public ridicule.
In the end, Mayor Thommy and the city council all but asked Garr and the other folks at Planet Rock to hold church services between dances in order to keep operating. Okay, okay, I’m exaggerating, but that’s my right, damn it.
In response, Garr announced last week that he’s suing Thommy, the city and all but one of the city councilors for violating his constitutional rights in their handling of his license renewal request. Oh baby, this one should get interesting. I’m just hoping that Garr gets a jury trial, gets Lauzon on the witness stand, and then tantalizes the crap out of him with the three-foot rule. Take that, Thommy!
But I guess all I really wanted to say was that I don’t like Mayor Lauzon. Try as hard as you want, Thommy, but you can’t take Barre out of Barre. So, please, get off your high horse – even if it is George Steinbrenner’s horse.
Snark on.
[Lauzon Update: Sorry, I had to get up and out the door this morning and I didn’t have time to look at the newspapers until lunch time. And, there it was, the headline story in the Times Argus that jarred my faulty memory on the other bit of over-lording Barre’s Mayor Thom has been up to: a teen curfew. Yep, he’s apparently trying to turn Barre into Baghdad – at least for teens – by forcing them off the streets by 10 p.m.
But, as David Delcore of the Times Argus reports today, Mayor Thom’s plan has hit a “speed bump” in the name of the Greater Barre Citizens Public Safety Committee, a group that voted overwhelmingly to nix the curfew idea and take its recommendation to the mayor and the city council tonight.
Oh yeah, I love it when people push back at this kind of nonsense. Bravo to this group. And bravo to the groups like New Directions for Greater Barre that actually work with teens to help them find some meaningful activities and stepped up to question this kind of punitive approach to wandering teens.
The people of Barre should be very concerned that their mayor is acting so tyrannical. He’s acting out the old adage that when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. And Lauzon just keeps whacking anything and everything that gets in his way or his rather undemocratic vision.
Please, Barre, stop this madman. And let him get an earful tonight. Because Barre ain’t Baghdad. And Barre’s teens ain’t terrorists. They’re just kids looking for some direction – er, make that New Directions.]
Monday, February 19, 2007
Dem Poodles
Aren’t the Democrats cute? I mean, come on, these little poodles in a self-imposed cage can’t even snarl enough to push a real piece of legislation regarding the war in Iraq. Instead, they keep yipping and yapping about a “resolution.” Yip. Yap. Yip. Yap.
They remind me of the little dog that barks “ferociously” at the bigger dog but only if it’s firmly on a leach and able to run behind its owners legs if the real dog so much as offers a hint of retribution. Yip. Yap. Yip. Yap.
Cowards.
The Republicans, of course, are just sitting back and calling the Dems’ bluff. Well, worse than that, they’re using the procedural rules of the U.S. Senate to literally kill any debate on the Iraq war. The New York Times’ headline last weekend pretty much summed up the malaise of the nation on this issue: “Senate Republicans Vote to Block Debate on Iraq War.” Ouch.
The irony, of course, is that the Republicans are still clinging to the public relations notion that this war is about “exporting democracy” to the poor Iraqis. Hmmm, perhaps they could start by showing the Iraqis that it’s not real cool to “block debate” on the number one issue facing our democracy.
Yeah sure, Iraqis, follow us…
My guess is that there’s little time left to get anything done about his war before the 2008 election. The Republicans will continue to snicker over their coy use of the rules to stifle any debate and the Dems will begin their usual pre-election banter about “not jeopardizing the election” by taking strong stands. So the Republicans will get John McCain and his thirst to hold the military trigger and the Dems will get Hillary Clinton and her thirst to put on the strap-on presidential dildo. Take that, Bill!
As for the rest of us, well, we’re fucked. As usual. Unless, of course, we stop listening to the ninnies of both deaf parties, rise up to mimic the great activism that really changed things in this country, and demand the change that is needed rather than the rhetoric of change we’re constantly being fed.
You know, it would kind of be like showing the Iraqis what democracy is REALLY supposed to look like. Any takers?
It’s not really any better here in Vermont. The Dems have veto-proof majorities in both houses of the legislature but are still doing little but yipping and yapping. Okay, okay, they passed their own war “resolution” but it was just a – ahem – resolution. They could also pass resolutions to end global warming and provide health care for all and it would have the same affect: Zippo. The Vermont Dems have absolutely no excuse for NOT being bold right now. Other than, of course, they’re Dems and they’ve become institutionally afraid of their own shadows. Boo!
This & That: It’s been nice of late to see the fine words of Terry Allen pop back on the radar screen. My email box has been the recipient of two of her pieces in the last week. Allen, an East Montpelier resident, is now apparently a staff writer for In These Times. For those with a bit of an institutional media memory, Allen tried to grace Vermonters with her investigative journalism before she got chased out of the Times-Argus offices by rubbing the power elite the wrong way by doing an expose on Norwich University. Gasp! Silly Terry, she forgot that Vermont can’t tolerate such journalism. We prefer, quite obviously, jingoism. Go Stowe! Go Sugarbush! Go incumbents! Go team, go! No warts here. No siree.
Wouldn’t it be nice, however, if the new editor at the Times-Argus, Sue Allen (no relation to Terry) could lure Terry back for some local reporting? Don’t count on it. The word on the street is that the General Manager at the TA, Anita Ancel, the meddling business lady over there, wouldn’t have it. Poor Sue. Poor Central Vermonters.
Thanks for the words, Terry. Keep ‘em coming.
Like most of us, I’m still recovering from the endless snow removal. And, judging from the streets in Montpelier, they’ve given up. There’s no school there again today because the sidewalks are still blocked. Did someone at City Hall forget this was still Vermont? Before Mayor Hooper gets the nod to replace Francis Brooks in the State Legislature, perhaps the good Dems of the city could demand an explanation for the city’s miserable snow removal plan. Just a thought.
And here’s another thought: Since the state is always so quick to throw money at the skiing and snowmobile industries when they’re experiencing a down side, I’m wondering if those industries will reciprocate and offer to give a little something extra back to the state now that their parking lots are filled with Connecticut’s Hummers? Just another thought.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Yo Laborer: Shovel!!
Holy shit. It snowed. And snowed. And snowed.
Then the great people of Vermont did what all the great people from every other state would do: They called on their laborers to shovel them out of the damn mess.
So a-shoveling I went. Two days worth.
Lawyers aren’t called to help shovel out neighbors. Nor our journalists. Or doctors. Or business owners. Nope, it’s the laborers. You know, like painters and such.
Ring-fucking-ring went the phone.
“You have ladders, right?” began the first of about a dozen clients and neighbors who called to seek my help to remove snow from roofs and driveways over the last 24 hours.
But it’s not really the ladders they’re looking for, you know. It’s the ladder AND the laborer. Hi-ho, hi-ho, off to work I go. Or went. Because I just finished. Yep, in the dark hours of the day after the big storm, your Snarky Boy is just a tired boy.
Just so you don’t start thinking I’m also sitting on a pile of cash that I can go piss away in beer-inspired pool matches, almost all my work today was pro-bono. And I could do away with that “almost” word if I didn’t accept the following items from some of the kinder folks who called on my services: one lemon meringue pie, a six-pack of White Tail Ale, a nice package of homemade chocolate chip cookies, biscuits from my faithful companion – the lab, and a whole host of super-sincere looks to the eye, shakes of the hand and smiling, robust thank yous.
Let’s face it, Vermont is at its best in times like this. Too bad we don’t have more storms to bring us together. My painting clients understood why I wouldn’t be venturing to the “real work,” and I understood my role in a community in need of laborers in a mighty time of labor. It was time to put all our crap aside, roll up our sleeves, and clean up the mess from the “storm of the century.”
Which is all just a really long-winded way to say: I’m not snarky right now. And whenever I try to get there, I just yawn and feel the fatigue of the labor.
So let’s just say this to one another tonight: We made it. Miraculously, with very few mishaps, we got through it. And now we got want we’ve been wanting: the thick blanket of snow that – now that the work is done – becomes our playground.
What do you say we rest on that notion and save the snarkiness for tomorrow?
Thanks. I knew you’d understand.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Poor Boy Pondering
Okay, okay, according to my email box, you seem to want more of me. Fine. Here you go. But, please, be forewarned, I’m in one hell of a pissy mood. It’s been another day of scraping lead paint from an apartment building that absolutely reeks of yesterday’s failures and tomorrow’s bad decisions. Yeah, you know the kind of place: one bedroom shitholes where single moms and dads go to put on a happy face for the children while they’ll be sitting at the windows I’m scraping wondering what in the hell went so fucking wrong with their lives. And they’ll turn on the television and see one channel after another wondering 24/7 about “what happened to Anna Nicole Smith.” Reality News Flash: Who the Fuck Cares!
Is it me, or does it seem like the more whacked this nation gets, the more the mainstream media tries to ram complete an utter bullshit down our throats? War in Iraq? Here, look at Anna Nicole. Cancer in the family with no health insurance? Quick, turn on American Idol and forgetaboutit. No money to pay the bills? Click. Turn it off by turning on the illusions of the great-next-election! Yee-fucking-hah!
But wait. I thought the last election was supposed to solve everything. Yeah right. And, please, do us all a favor and remove the hook from your oh-so silly mouth.
The American world outlook at this point seems to be a ridiculous collection of cheerleaders. On one side we have the Dems who shake their asses in our faces with promises to be “different.” On the other side we have the Repubs and what appears to be the same kind of ass shaking and false promises. And the rest of us just keep getting our asses kicked.
Quick, the media says to us: Look over here! Look at Justin Timberlake! Look at Carrie Underwood! Look at anything but the mirror and what it might say: “This is all really, really weird.”
No time for that. Not at all. This is the new age of the American Spectacle, where everything is a distraction and for good reason. Because a distracted nation won’t know or care about how they’re working into the wee-hours of the night to just put fucking noodles on the table for their kids. Eat up. And we won’t notice that those noodle-eating kids are being enticed with bullshit incentives to go and fight wars without meaning.
You asked for it. You got it.
Oh dear readers, I’ve had the kind of day whereby this thought kept coming to mind: Yesterday’s election’s are like your last masturbatory experience. Oh damn, it felt good. But then it was over – and faster than you thought. But you were still just a schmuck self-pleasuring yourself. Sure, you had fantasies but, in the end, it was just you and your reality. None of the characters, dreams, illusions or wishes are ever there when you’re done. Nope. You’re alone. And so it goes.
Maybe that’s why they put you behind that curtain when you vote. Holy shit. They really do expect you to just pleasure yourself and pretend for that ever-so-brief moment that you’re doing the great work of Democracy and your fantasies will become reality. Yeah right.
And then you awake to realize that Bush is still president, the Dems control the congress, Douglas is governor, the Dems control the Statehouse, and you are one of the few who are not being considered as the father of Anna Nicole’s baby. Reality sucks.
And so, there I was, scraping window after window, smelling the memories of yesterday’s tenants and wondering about tomorrow’s. Will the child who will look from these windows have the dreams we need to break the grip of the American Spectacle? Will they see beyond the bullshit and dream the dreams we need to launch us into the place where love, creativity, compassion, community and a brand new global awareness replaces the paranoia?
I can only hope. And keep scraping, earning my own meager salary.
I’m just a dreamer, you know. In a sea of indifference.
Come dream with me. Please?
Monday, February 12, 2007
The Beaudry's of True North Radio Go Bonkers [updated below]
Can a painter ever get some rest? For crying out loud, you people are driving me nuts with tips, quips, requests and – yes – whacky-assed threats. Okay, okay, I’m loving it. But after a hellishly long day of scraping lead paint from some slumlord’s apartments, I came home tonight to what’s becoming the norm: an email box jammed with goodies from you, dear – and not-so-dear – readers.
The most entertaining was from the irate wife of Paul Beaudry of True North Radio. While I normally don’t like to share private emails with my ever-growing readership (and I won’t, by the way, if you request as much), but this one contained a not-so-subtle threat that I felt needed to be exposed.
Before I let you taste the entirety of Joan Beaudry’s snarling email, let me tell you this: I have no idea who she is. And, until this email, I never knew she existed. Nor do I care who she is. But, as is the case with the not-so-sleuthy Paul, she’s misfiring on this one. Big time. Perhaps we should cut her some slack, though, because she is married to a guy who still thinks there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Poor woman.
So, without further adieu, here’s Mrs. Paul Beaudry’s email to the Snarky Boy:
Oh Joan, I’ve got lots of compassion – just not for those who can’t shoot straight. And you clearly missed on this widely scattered shot. Quite frankly, you’ve now got the award for the most bizarre accusation against Snarky Boy, a title that was formerly held by the good Democrat, Odum, who once insinuated that Snarky Boy might be responsible for stealing spare change from his car. Ah, I love the paranoid lunatics on the left and the right. They give me so much fodder.
But let’s get back to the email. I thought long and hard about how to respond. At first I penned an honest denial. Then, I stopped myself from hitting the send button with thoughts of a very funny True North Radio show to look forward to. You know the old adage: Any publicity is good publicity. But then I came back around and sent this response to Joan:
Quite frankly, this all smells of Paul’s lunatic and paranoid politics. I guarantee that in his rather demented mind -- where all gays are trying to seduce our children, judges are trying to help them, Bill O’Reilly sits at the right hand of his God, the NEA is run by Castro, Bill Sayer is interesting and Rob Roper is a good selection to head the Vermont Republican Party – Paul is living a great and delusional fantasy whereby he’s George Bush and Snarky Boy is Osama. Let’s face it, this crazy bastard lives for this kind of crap.
Poor guy. Or, better yet, Poor Joan.
Stay tuned.
[Morning Update: That was a weird night. I spent a good chunk of it corresponding with Mrs. Paul Beaudry, trying to get to the bottom of what started as the bizarre accusation outlined above. She finally let me know that she was accusing me of circulating a letter about Paul and his family because the person doing it actually signed it as “Snarky Boy” and encouraged folks to visit this site. Let me be clear: I may be snarky, but I aim my snark at those who willingly put themselves in the public eye – like Paul, not his wife. So let me say this to the person using the Snarky Boy name who is NOT Snarky Boy: Stop it. And, better yet, aim your wrath where it belongs: at Paul and his wingnut politics, not his family. Moreover, do it in a name of your choice, not mine, please.
And thanks, Joan, for the nice dialogue. I wish you the best. – Snarky Boy]
The most entertaining was from the irate wife of Paul Beaudry of True North Radio. While I normally don’t like to share private emails with my ever-growing readership (and I won’t, by the way, if you request as much), but this one contained a not-so-subtle threat that I felt needed to be exposed.
Before I let you taste the entirety of Joan Beaudry’s snarling email, let me tell you this: I have no idea who she is. And, until this email, I never knew she existed. Nor do I care who she is. But, as is the case with the not-so-sleuthy Paul, she’s misfiring on this one. Big time. Perhaps we should cut her some slack, though, because she is married to a guy who still thinks there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Poor woman.
So, without further adieu, here’s Mrs. Paul Beaudry’s email to the Snarky Boy:
Open letter to Snarky Boy to be read on the radio tomorrow regarding to the derogatory remark you made about me in a letter sent to numerous sources.
First let me set the record straight and “substantiate” something for you. There are or should not be any unsubstantiated rumors circulating around Swanton as what you have written is untrue. Unfortunately I am compelled to defend myself which really aggravates me, but as it is my character you are attempting to assassinate, I feel have no other recourse. At the time I began my relationship with Paul, I was LEGALLY separated from my first husband. We would have been divorced at this time but due to the fact that we had to attend classes on helping our child cope with divorce, our divorce date was pushed back. We had not been living together for almost 1 1⁄2 years and in fact my ex was also dating someone. In addition, my ex-husband knew of the relationship as I introduced Paul to him shortly after it began. Thus there are no rumors as there was nothing to start a rumor about.
I will be honest here; your attack on me was uncalled for. Paul is in the public arena, which unfortunately opens him up to attacks from nutcases across the state. I am not in this forum so would appreciate being left out of your attacks. In fact, the only public speaking I do is to teenagers to warn them of the dangers of drinking and driving as my son was killed by a drunk driver in 1998. Letters such as the one you wrote defame my character and could jeopardize the work I do to save lives. This is not acceptable! If this is not enough to appeal to your human side, then consider doing this for my daughter. You upset her dreadfully and this is where I take exception. There is nothing fiercer than a lioness protecting her cub. I hope that within the “recesses of a sometimes fertile but most of the time juvenile mind” there still lingers a flicker of compassion towards those who are innocent and undeserving of your snarky comments.
I am not laughing!
-- Joan
Oh Joan, I’ve got lots of compassion – just not for those who can’t shoot straight. And you clearly missed on this widely scattered shot. Quite frankly, you’ve now got the award for the most bizarre accusation against Snarky Boy, a title that was formerly held by the good Democrat, Odum, who once insinuated that Snarky Boy might be responsible for stealing spare change from his car. Ah, I love the paranoid lunatics on the left and the right. They give me so much fodder.
But let’s get back to the email. I thought long and hard about how to respond. At first I penned an honest denial. Then, I stopped myself from hitting the send button with thoughts of a very funny True North Radio show to look forward to. You know the old adage: Any publicity is good publicity. But then I came back around and sent this response to Joan:
Hello Joan,
Well, thanks for all the information but I have no idea what you're talking about. And, moreover, I have no idea who you are -- nor do I care, quite frankly.
Hear this: Everything I've written about Paul is on my blog site. I would never waste my time "circulating letters" about him because, well, I already have a very wide audience on Al Gore's Internet.
If this is how Paul does his homework, I now see why he's so wrong on almost every issue he talks about.
I know this may be hard for you to hear but: It ain't me, babe, I ain't the one you're looking for.
But go ahead and read the letter on the air. I'd love the publicity.
-- Snarky Boy
Quite frankly, this all smells of Paul’s lunatic and paranoid politics. I guarantee that in his rather demented mind -- where all gays are trying to seduce our children, judges are trying to help them, Bill O’Reilly sits at the right hand of his God, the NEA is run by Castro, Bill Sayer is interesting and Rob Roper is a good selection to head the Vermont Republican Party – Paul is living a great and delusional fantasy whereby he’s George Bush and Snarky Boy is Osama. Let’s face it, this crazy bastard lives for this kind of crap.
Poor guy. Or, better yet, Poor Joan.
Stay tuned.
[Morning Update: That was a weird night. I spent a good chunk of it corresponding with Mrs. Paul Beaudry, trying to get to the bottom of what started as the bizarre accusation outlined above. She finally let me know that she was accusing me of circulating a letter about Paul and his family because the person doing it actually signed it as “Snarky Boy” and encouraged folks to visit this site. Let me be clear: I may be snarky, but I aim my snark at those who willingly put themselves in the public eye – like Paul, not his wife. So let me say this to the person using the Snarky Boy name who is NOT Snarky Boy: Stop it. And, better yet, aim your wrath where it belongs: at Paul and his wingnut politics, not his family. Moreover, do it in a name of your choice, not mine, please.
And thanks, Joan, for the nice dialogue. I wish you the best. – Snarky Boy]
Reading Around: News & Views on the Vermont Media [updated]
The clips and tips are piling up on my desk. So instead of pretending that I’m going to get around to making full-fledged snarky essays out of all them, let’s try a new format: quick and pithy. Well, I’ll only guarantee the quick part. The pithy judgment is up to you. Off we go.
Spin Doctors: Ross Sneyd of the Associated Press penned a great article over the weekend on growing number of spokespeople being employed by the various agencies under the thumb of Governor Douglas. Worse, a good number of them are being plucked from the ever-shrinking ranks of the Vermont media. You know the names: Darren Allen, John Zicconi, Anson Tebbets and David Mace. And, guess what? There’s still an opening for Douglas to fill as the spokesperson for the Agency of Agriculture. I’ll bet Diane Derby – formerly of the Press Bureau and Jeffords’ office – will take a hard look at this job and its $60,000-plus salary. It would, after all, offer a nice, soft landing for her to return to Vermont after several years in D.C. You heard it here first. [Update: Scratch that last bit of speculation. It was half-hearted and, judging by the email responses, ridiculous. But I still think Diane's coming back to Vermont soon, just not to work for a red-statish Republican.]
Funny, isn’t it, that Douglas loves to rail against government spending but can’t seem to hire enough high-priced spin doctors? Health care for all? Nope. Instead, Douglas will hire a PR hack to put out a news release every week to tell us everything’s just fine. Storm water run-off problems? Nope. Not, at least, when you can hire Darren Allen to call in his media favors and attempt to drown out the voices over at the Conservation Law Foundation. And on and on it goes: ignore the problem and spin the people until they’re too dizzy to know you’re ignoring the problem.
Does this method of governing sound familiar? It should. Because this is all right out of Karl Rove’s governing playbook. And the genius of Jim Douglas has been his ability to play by the rules of the Rove bullshit game and yet convince so many Vermonters that he’s really not that kind of a right-wing nut. Well, it doesn’t hurt to hire away the members of the mainstream media who are about to call you on your bullshit.
He’s no dummy.
The “New” Times Argus: It’s now been two months since Sue Allen bolted from the Free Press to take the helm of the Montpelier/Barre Times Argus. She came in promising more front-page local news and she’s certainly delivered it. Allen has also delivered some nice profiles of local politicos, something that was always oddly absent with past editors.
But I can’t let another day slip away without commenting on what has been Sue’s worst news judgment decision: Front-paging (or even running) the ridiculous article last week about Governor Douglas losing his coat. Yep, right on the front page screamed this headline: “Governor’s Coat Worn Away, Returned.”
Penned by Alan Keays of the Rutland Herald, it was – well – stupid and completely un-newsworthy. If you missed it, it was about the Guv’s coat being accidentally taken by a man who had a similar coat at a Rutland Chamber of Commerce event.
Here’s the not-so-tantalizing explanatory paragraph: “It appeared someone had mistakenly grabbed Douglas’ black overcoat, leaving behind a similar looking one. The problem was the look-alike coat had no identification inside, making it difficult to locate the man wearing Douglas’ coat.”
And on and on it went. Good grief.
What was most galling about this story was the fact that it came on the heels of the Guv’s press conference meltdown. So the media had the Guv on the ropes, ripe for some real juicy news, and they let it all slip away with this silly little story.
Not only was the story a non-story, it was filled with more dopey puns than a whole edition of 7 Daze. Taste these: “coat tales,” “warm ending,” “no cover-up,” and the case has been “wrapped up.”
Enough already.
True North Radio Update: Last week, the Snarky Boy reported on the confusion over whether or not Cabot Cheese was going to bite the hand trying to feed it. Specifically, True North Radio’s Paul Beaudry has been so hard up to at least look like he’s got credible sponsors that he’s been throwing Cabot’s name around as “a sponsor.” Well, that not-so-welcomed plug got many of Cabot’s customers a little concerned that this Vermont dairy company would support the “anti-gay and right-wing nonsense” that anchors much of the show’s content. At first, Cabot got cagey with its responses to those who called to complain about the association between Cabot and True North. But, after hearing from more people who wanted a straight answer, Cabot’s Michael Provost has issued this very clear statement:
Take that, Paul. Now stop lying about it.
Mowing While Drunk: I was perched on my favorite chair at Charlie O’s last weekend when the news came out that the Castleton man charged with driving his lawn mower while drunk had been acquitted. Yep, the court ruled that it’s cool to tool around while drunk on a machine with sharpened blades. The Charlie O’s crowd gave a hearty cheer to the news – not surprisingly. And one fella who was looking like he’d been there since the day before had this to say: “Shit, I shoulda driven the mower down here.” Oh sure, no one would even notice….
Blog Watch: You gotta love the associate director for membership development at VNRC, John Odum, who also runs the Dem-cheerleading weblog, Green Mountain Daily. Every time he thinks he’s onto a big story, he wets himself with rage over the fact that the mainstream media ain’t paying him no attention. Last weekend, Odum pilfered information from another website and tried his darndest to make it a “big story” for all of Vermont to see. The problem was, most people just yawned – especially the mainstream media.
While there may, indeed, be something to the story, I’m getting more of a kick out of Odum’s little tantrums over being ignored (again). He just doesn’t seem to get it: Blogs are supposed to be different from the mainstream media. And a tiny little blog like his – especially one that is so obviously just a partisan mouthpiece – has next to no credibility with the mainstream media. That’s why, Little Johnny, no one’s paying attention to you and your so-called breaking news.
Speaking of blogger delusion, here’s a quick update: Philip Baruth still loves himself.
And then there’s Peter Freyne. He’s back. While we continue to wish him the best in his battle with cancer, we hope he realizes that since he’s decided to resume his role as the attack-poodle for Sanders, Leahy and Welch, he’s fair game for some criticism. And we’ll start here: When’s the last time you read one critical word by Freyne about Sanders, Leahy or Welch? I mean: one critical word. That’s not “alternative” journalism, Peter, that’s just ass kissing.
Now for my Vermont Blog of the Week Award: The Deadbeat Club. Let’s face it, Eva knows how to blog. She’s made for it and she’s wicked talented. Thanks for the never-ending entertainment, Eva.
Spin Doctors: Ross Sneyd of the Associated Press penned a great article over the weekend on growing number of spokespeople being employed by the various agencies under the thumb of Governor Douglas. Worse, a good number of them are being plucked from the ever-shrinking ranks of the Vermont media. You know the names: Darren Allen, John Zicconi, Anson Tebbets and David Mace. And, guess what? There’s still an opening for Douglas to fill as the spokesperson for the Agency of Agriculture. I’ll bet Diane Derby – formerly of the Press Bureau and Jeffords’ office – will take a hard look at this job and its $60,000-plus salary. It would, after all, offer a nice, soft landing for her to return to Vermont after several years in D.C. You heard it here first. [Update: Scratch that last bit of speculation. It was half-hearted and, judging by the email responses, ridiculous. But I still think Diane's coming back to Vermont soon, just not to work for a red-statish Republican.]
Funny, isn’t it, that Douglas loves to rail against government spending but can’t seem to hire enough high-priced spin doctors? Health care for all? Nope. Instead, Douglas will hire a PR hack to put out a news release every week to tell us everything’s just fine. Storm water run-off problems? Nope. Not, at least, when you can hire Darren Allen to call in his media favors and attempt to drown out the voices over at the Conservation Law Foundation. And on and on it goes: ignore the problem and spin the people until they’re too dizzy to know you’re ignoring the problem.
Does this method of governing sound familiar? It should. Because this is all right out of Karl Rove’s governing playbook. And the genius of Jim Douglas has been his ability to play by the rules of the Rove bullshit game and yet convince so many Vermonters that he’s really not that kind of a right-wing nut. Well, it doesn’t hurt to hire away the members of the mainstream media who are about to call you on your bullshit.
He’s no dummy.
The “New” Times Argus: It’s now been two months since Sue Allen bolted from the Free Press to take the helm of the Montpelier/Barre Times Argus. She came in promising more front-page local news and she’s certainly delivered it. Allen has also delivered some nice profiles of local politicos, something that was always oddly absent with past editors.
But I can’t let another day slip away without commenting on what has been Sue’s worst news judgment decision: Front-paging (or even running) the ridiculous article last week about Governor Douglas losing his coat. Yep, right on the front page screamed this headline: “Governor’s Coat Worn Away, Returned.”
Penned by Alan Keays of the Rutland Herald, it was – well – stupid and completely un-newsworthy. If you missed it, it was about the Guv’s coat being accidentally taken by a man who had a similar coat at a Rutland Chamber of Commerce event.
Here’s the not-so-tantalizing explanatory paragraph: “It appeared someone had mistakenly grabbed Douglas’ black overcoat, leaving behind a similar looking one. The problem was the look-alike coat had no identification inside, making it difficult to locate the man wearing Douglas’ coat.”
And on and on it went. Good grief.
What was most galling about this story was the fact that it came on the heels of the Guv’s press conference meltdown. So the media had the Guv on the ropes, ripe for some real juicy news, and they let it all slip away with this silly little story.
Not only was the story a non-story, it was filled with more dopey puns than a whole edition of 7 Daze. Taste these: “coat tales,” “warm ending,” “no cover-up,” and the case has been “wrapped up.”
Enough already.
True North Radio Update: Last week, the Snarky Boy reported on the confusion over whether or not Cabot Cheese was going to bite the hand trying to feed it. Specifically, True North Radio’s Paul Beaudry has been so hard up to at least look like he’s got credible sponsors that he’s been throwing Cabot’s name around as “a sponsor.” Well, that not-so-welcomed plug got many of Cabot’s customers a little concerned that this Vermont dairy company would support the “anti-gay and right-wing nonsense” that anchors much of the show’s content. At first, Cabot got cagey with its responses to those who called to complain about the association between Cabot and True North. But, after hearing from more people who wanted a straight answer, Cabot’s Michael Provost has issued this very clear statement:
True North is a supporter of Cabot through their buy local and dairy promotion efforts, but Cabot is not a sponsor of True North Radio.
Any claims made that we are a sponsor were made in error.
Take that, Paul. Now stop lying about it.
Mowing While Drunk: I was perched on my favorite chair at Charlie O’s last weekend when the news came out that the Castleton man charged with driving his lawn mower while drunk had been acquitted. Yep, the court ruled that it’s cool to tool around while drunk on a machine with sharpened blades. The Charlie O’s crowd gave a hearty cheer to the news – not surprisingly. And one fella who was looking like he’d been there since the day before had this to say: “Shit, I shoulda driven the mower down here.” Oh sure, no one would even notice….
Blog Watch: You gotta love the associate director for membership development at VNRC, John Odum, who also runs the Dem-cheerleading weblog, Green Mountain Daily. Every time he thinks he’s onto a big story, he wets himself with rage over the fact that the mainstream media ain’t paying him no attention. Last weekend, Odum pilfered information from another website and tried his darndest to make it a “big story” for all of Vermont to see. The problem was, most people just yawned – especially the mainstream media.
While there may, indeed, be something to the story, I’m getting more of a kick out of Odum’s little tantrums over being ignored (again). He just doesn’t seem to get it: Blogs are supposed to be different from the mainstream media. And a tiny little blog like his – especially one that is so obviously just a partisan mouthpiece – has next to no credibility with the mainstream media. That’s why, Little Johnny, no one’s paying attention to you and your so-called breaking news.
Speaking of blogger delusion, here’s a quick update: Philip Baruth still loves himself.
And then there’s Peter Freyne. He’s back. While we continue to wish him the best in his battle with cancer, we hope he realizes that since he’s decided to resume his role as the attack-poodle for Sanders, Leahy and Welch, he’s fair game for some criticism. And we’ll start here: When’s the last time you read one critical word by Freyne about Sanders, Leahy or Welch? I mean: one critical word. That’s not “alternative” journalism, Peter, that’s just ass kissing.
Now for my Vermont Blog of the Week Award: The Deadbeat Club. Let’s face it, Eva knows how to blog. She’s made for it and she’s wicked talented. Thanks for the never-ending entertainment, Eva.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
True North Radio & The Cheesy Confusion
If, like me, you can grit your teeth, clinch your jaw and attempt to deny the existence of proper grammar from time to time, you might find yourself trying to listen to Paul Beaudry’s dopey little paid show on the otherwise fine WDEV. It’s called “True North Radio,” and, as I’ve written here before, I’m certain it’s just a comedy show pretending to be a political show. Because, come on, no one can be that stupid, can they?
But, I guess I’m wrong. Beaudry’s for real. Well, real enough to come up with the $250 an hour he hands over to WDEV’s owner, Ken Squier. And I’ll bet the ever-fun-loving Squier would probably help us do what should be done with that show: add a damn laugh-track. Besides canceling the dreadful thing, that’s the only way I can think to help it out of its misery.
Beaudry himself likes to send little love notes to Snarky Boy every time I mention him here. And it always goes something like this: If it’s so bad, why are you listening? Well, Paul, it’s just plain funny, that’s all. I mean, you’re spending $250 and hour to make the left feel really secure about itself. Besides, anyone who can make the sleepy Anthony Pollina sound even remotely interesting has to be really, really bad, no?
Okay, okay, I can hear you readers collectively saying: But what’s that got to do with the headline, you schmuck? Well, nothing. And if you’d stop interrupting me, I’ll get to it.
Beaudry and his turtle-like regular guest, Bill Sayer (do you, like me, think he’s about to fall asleep in mid-sentence?), have been on a kick of late to help Vermont’s dairy farmers by asking an already phlegmed up and obese state to – well – eat more cheese! And, of course, they’ve put the spotlight on Cabot Creamery. Beaudry has even made a reference to Cabot being “a sponsor” of his program.
Oops. Cabot didn’t need that, did they? Nope. Because Cabot – apparently an innocent player in all of Beaudry’s drivel – has been bombarded with emails, letters and calls from Vermonters wondering why they’re sponsoring an “anti-gay” radio show that’s filled with “right-wing nonsense.” And how does Snarky Boy know this? Well, Snarky Boy does his homework. And it also helps that I’ve been receiving copies of the email exchanges between listeners and Cabot over the matter.
After receiving the first irate email, Cabot tried to punt and declare that they advertise on and in numerous radio and newspapers and those advertisements don’t necessary equate to an endorsement of the content. Then they tried their old “and here are some coupons now shut up,” routine. But it didn’t work with the Snarky Boy reader who wasn’t gonna get waltzed to the door on this one.
“I will not be needing coupons for your products,” the reader wrote to Cabot, “…until I know if, in fact, you are sponsoring this program.”
And Cabot’s response? Here’s what Michael Provost, the Customer Satisfaction Manager (yes, that’s his real title) had to say: “Cabot does not support anti-gay messages or right-wing nonsense.”
But we still need some clarity here. Cabot could be doing what Cabot does best: public relations spin. I could hear, for example, the mouthpiece of Cabot, Roberta McDonald, saying: “Well, we stand behind our statement AND our sponsorship of True North Radio.”
But do they sponsor True North Radio? No one knows but Cabot. And they won’t say for certain. And wouldn’t you like to know? Well, give them a call or shoot them an email and try to find out. Michael Provost can be reached at (802) 371-1265, or his email is customer_satisfaction@cabotcheese.com. Please let me know what you hear.
Hey Cabot: We’re waiting for a straight answer.
Better Late Than Never: Welch Recovers to Do the Obvious
Well, well, well, ain’t democracy fun? Thanks to the efforts of bloggers and citizens alike, Peter Welch finally came around and sponsored Rep. Lynn Woolsey’s legislation that – if enacted – would begin a 6-month troop withdrawal in Iraq. Better yet, it will offer the assistance the Iraqi people need to put their country back together after George & Dick’s Big Adventure.
The bloggers who so gleefully drink from the Democratic Party’s Kool-Aid stood up to say “We told you so” when Welch made his anti-war announcement on Monday. But they’re clearly missing the point and, as usual, just carrying water for a party rather than pushing that party to wake up and lead. Yes, lead. You know, kinda like they have majorities in both houses of congress.
But those Dem-party hacks are the reason why the Dems will remain in their political coma. The hacks sit on their hands on the most important issues of the day and actually try to protect their elected friends with admonitions toward the remaining few of us who still believe it’s okay to PRACTICE democracy and speak up, sound off and – gasp! – demand action from our elected officials.
The reason Welch finally acted wasn’t because his donors and starry-eyed admirers sat on their hands and said, “just wait, he’ll do it.” Nope. Welch got off his political ass because he got bombarded with phone calls, heard from constituents in every venue he bothered to pop into (radio, T.V., Internet), and there were enough people who remembered their high school civics lessons and organized a not-so-small mob of democracy lovers to turn up the heat on him.
And, yes, to Welch’s credit, he listened and he acted accordingly. Bravo.
But that doesn’t mean we go away quietly into the night. Hardly. That means Welch took his first legislative baby step and now we’ll see if we can get him to walk without wobbling and – perhaps – maybe even get into a run by the end of his term. And that means keeping the heat on him – every step of the way – no matter what the sleepy “I told you so” crowd says.
The bloggers who so gleefully drink from the Democratic Party’s Kool-Aid stood up to say “We told you so” when Welch made his anti-war announcement on Monday. But they’re clearly missing the point and, as usual, just carrying water for a party rather than pushing that party to wake up and lead. Yes, lead. You know, kinda like they have majorities in both houses of congress.
But those Dem-party hacks are the reason why the Dems will remain in their political coma. The hacks sit on their hands on the most important issues of the day and actually try to protect their elected friends with admonitions toward the remaining few of us who still believe it’s okay to PRACTICE democracy and speak up, sound off and – gasp! – demand action from our elected officials.
The reason Welch finally acted wasn’t because his donors and starry-eyed admirers sat on their hands and said, “just wait, he’ll do it.” Nope. Welch got off his political ass because he got bombarded with phone calls, heard from constituents in every venue he bothered to pop into (radio, T.V., Internet), and there were enough people who remembered their high school civics lessons and organized a not-so-small mob of democracy lovers to turn up the heat on him.
And, yes, to Welch’s credit, he listened and he acted accordingly. Bravo.
But that doesn’t mean we go away quietly into the night. Hardly. That means Welch took his first legislative baby step and now we’ll see if we can get him to walk without wobbling and – perhaps – maybe even get into a run by the end of his term. And that means keeping the heat on him – every step of the way – no matter what the sleepy “I told you so” crowd says.
Monday, February 05, 2007
The Devil and Da-Bears
Oh hell, maybe I’m just getting snarkier and snarkier with time, but that Super Bowl sucked. It was a sloppy game on a sloppy field with nary a single commercial that I found even slightly amusing. B-O-R-I-N-G.
While I never miss a Super Bowl, I was especially interested in this game just because of its religious undertones. You’ll recall, for example, that both the owner and the coach of the Indianapolis Colts declared after winning the AFC championship game that it was God’s and Jesus’ plans to get the Colts to the big game.
So to my snarky mind, that meant God and Jesus were rooting against the Chicago Bears. And how much fun could it be to see a team like da-Bears face not only Peyton Manning and his fleety little receivers but also the wrath of God? Well, as it turns out, not much.
God apparently wanted them all to be very, very clean since he showered them with rain the entire game. Or was that Joe Biden’s doing? Damn, I’m getting all fucking confused.
Other than the opening kick-off return by the devilish Bears, these guys didn’t have a – well – prayer. Or, if you’d rather, they sucked. Their quarterback, Rex Grossman, is stuck in some kind of college day haze, getting chunkier with each party and apparently forgetting that he’s playing professionals now.
Football fans will probably remember a month or so ago when he absolutely sucked in a game and then declared that he was partying too much the week before and didn’t prepare too well. Cool. Well, actually, not cool. Not at least, if you’re a fly-by-night agnostic Colt-hating bastard like I was last night.
But it was just a terrible game all around. Both teams played as miserable as the weather was, Prince played by the rules at his half-time show (read: he was boring), and, unless you think it’s funny for crabs to bow to beer cans, there wasn’t a clever commercial in the four-hour bonanza.
Yep: It’s bah-fucking-humbug here. But like the sucker I am, my buddies and I watched it all, slurped down the necessary beers, chowed on an obscene amount of chips and then felt really, really stupid when it was all over. In fact, even though I’ve known these guys for years, the feeling in the room as we headed for the door was like that of a really, really bad first date. You just want to get the fuck out the door and pretend the previous four hours just didn’t exist.
But the Christians are happy today. The Colts’ owner, Jim Irsay, and their coach, Tony Dungy, got all the God and Jesus praising they could into the post-game ceremony. Dungy, when asked how it felt to be the first black coach of an NFL championship team, responded with something like this: “Well, I’m more proud of the fact that I’m a Christian coach and I coach the Lord’s way.”
Give me a fucking break. Amen.
Like I wrote here a couple of weeks ago, if there is a God, let’s hope she’s not wasting her goddamn time rooting for a football team when people are starving, being killed by presidential tyrants and/or just plain being abused by life’s many (real) pitfalls. I mean, there’s got to be a Christian with a brain out there who feels more than a bit squeamish over this “God is for my team” crap, no? But where are they?
The good news is that it’s over. And now we can all turn our attention toward the upcoming baseball season and hope like hell that God hates the Red Sox as much as he hates the Bears. Curt Schilling is a Republican, you know? And he’s thinking about running against John Kerry for the U.S. Senate.
And off we go into a brand new sports spectacle….
Friday, February 02, 2007
Ashtray Heart
Guess who just got a YouTube account? Yippee. And the first thing I did was search for some of my favorite bands. Voila! Let the fun begin. This one's from the greatest of all greats, Captain Beefheart. Ah, wouldn't it be great to walk into the bar tonight and see this. As Michael Stipe would say, "this one goes out to the one I love." Enjoy.
T.G.I.F. Random Blogging
Wow. What a week. You, dear readers, have sent this site’s stats through the roof, you’ve clogged my email box (vtsnarkyboy@yahoo.com) with tips and comments, and the tidal wave of snarkiness has flooded across the Vermont media and political landscape. Ah, feel the snarky love.
Instead of the prose you’ve come to expect here, I’m going to rinse my head out like a filthy washcloth and just spill forth with some randomness. Here ya’ go:
Little Jimmy Douglas Melts Down: You had to see this coming. Governor Howdy-Doodie has been on edge for months now. He did, after all, have to pretend he was someone else for an entire election season, hoping like hell that no one would remember that he was a huge Bush supporter – including the war fiasco – and an unabashed conservative Republican in an election year where those two words were akin to, well, asshole.
But he pulled it off. And who ever that guy was that he ran against certainly made it easy for Douglas to pull off his little switcheroo. Oh yeah, that was the liberal preacher guy, Scooter Parker. Or was it Scudder? Whatever. Let’s face it, there’s nothing more obnoxious than a liberal preacher. It’s what I’d call political correctness overload. And it’s pretty clear that’s what voters thought too.
Douglas’ post-election life hasn’t been a bowl of cherries, either. The man who ran on a platform of creating jobs and making Vermont more “affordable” got to see two major plants close since November and nearly ten million dollars of the state’s money go missing. Oops. And, trust me, for a governor who acts more like an accountant, that ain’t good news.
You could tell he was getting more and more on edge just by how high he pulls his pants. Don’t believe me? Look for yourselves. By the time he had his little temper tantrum at his weekly press conference yesterday, they were pulled nearly to his neck. For those of us “in the know,” we knew he was about to blow.
And he did. But let’s face it, it was the kind of blow-up you’d expect from a Middlebury-accountant kind of a guy. He basically just gritted his teeth, got red faced and a bit snotty. Come on, Guv, you can do better than that.
Hats off, however, to the Vermont media for pushing his buttons. It’s about fucking time. And a second hat tip to Ross Sneyd at the Associated Press for filing a full story on the gubernatorial meltdown and the subsequent apology. Good stuff – especially on the newly localized Times Argus front page.
Welch Watch: The heat is clearly being turned up on Peter “The Dick” Welch. The wave of snarkiness directed at the newly minted congressman has sent this Snarky Boy’s heart fluttering. Let’s face it, the guy’s just plain smarmy. And, for those of you who think good blogging means posting headlines like “Welch Off to Good Start,” please tell me ONE thing that Welch has done in his political life that has been risky and/or showed true passion. One thing. I’ll bet you can’t. The guy’s a political player. And he’s playing Vermonters like a fiddle right now, hoping we’ll forget his firebrand campaign rhetoric of only a few months ago while he plays footsie with the House leadership for the betterment of his career.
Luckily, there are a growing number of people out there who seem to remember that Welch ran on a platform to stick it to Bush, especially on the war. So they’re calling for folks to call Welch and demand that he get his ass in gear by signing onto the legislation that would put a quick end to the Iraq fiasco. J.D. over at Five Before Chaos is one blogger who’s been up to the task of practicing democracy. There’s also some talk afloat about some civil disobedience at the not-so-good congressman’s office if he continues to drag his feet on the issue we thought he was going to lead on. Stay tuned for news on that effort.
Global Warming Hot Air: I’m beginning to think Peter Shumlin hijacked the state legislature with his global warming focus just so he could tell people how he went hunting in a t-shirt this year. Tell me, how many times have you heard him say it? I know I’ve heard it about four times. And that’s four times too many, quite frankly. Earth to Peter: No one’s buying this good-old-boy bullshit. You’re a millionaire politician, not one of the boys. Now get over it and move on, please.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for doing something about global warming. The problem with the charade going down at the Statehouse is that it’s just that: a charade. Or, if you will: more hot air. And there’s not a chance in hell that Shumlin or anyone else under the golden dome will legislate the kinds of changes that are necessary to truly combat global warming. Sadly, Shumlin’s just doing what liberals do: talk about it to feel good about themselves for AT LEAST talking about it. And around and around they’ll go.
Again, the Snarky Boy will stand corrected when anyone out there can come forward with one piece of meaningful legislation that will come out of this global warming rhetoric-fest.
I’ve stumbled across one great voice of reason on this: Eric Rosenbloom from Hardwick. Known for his well-reasoned opposition to industrial wind power, Rosenbloom has been penning some fine jabs at the global warming hot air breathers. Here, for example, is a link to a nice verbal take down of Shumlin’s double speak on global warming. And while you’re at his site, take a look around and stew on his wind arguments. I think he’s onto to something.
Whew, We Made It: To Friday, that is. And in a matter of hours the Snarky Boy will morph into the wandering boy of the ever-growing nightlife scene in Montpelier. I’ve got scheduled stops planned for my usual haunts of Charlie O’s and Langdon Street Café. The music seems to be less than enticing tonight, but the pool playing should be good and the conversations constant. Perhaps I’ll see you there?
Until then, snark on.
Instead of the prose you’ve come to expect here, I’m going to rinse my head out like a filthy washcloth and just spill forth with some randomness. Here ya’ go:
Little Jimmy Douglas Melts Down: You had to see this coming. Governor Howdy-Doodie has been on edge for months now. He did, after all, have to pretend he was someone else for an entire election season, hoping like hell that no one would remember that he was a huge Bush supporter – including the war fiasco – and an unabashed conservative Republican in an election year where those two words were akin to, well, asshole.
But he pulled it off. And who ever that guy was that he ran against certainly made it easy for Douglas to pull off his little switcheroo. Oh yeah, that was the liberal preacher guy, Scooter Parker. Or was it Scudder? Whatever. Let’s face it, there’s nothing more obnoxious than a liberal preacher. It’s what I’d call political correctness overload. And it’s pretty clear that’s what voters thought too.
Douglas’ post-election life hasn’t been a bowl of cherries, either. The man who ran on a platform of creating jobs and making Vermont more “affordable” got to see two major plants close since November and nearly ten million dollars of the state’s money go missing. Oops. And, trust me, for a governor who acts more like an accountant, that ain’t good news.
You could tell he was getting more and more on edge just by how high he pulls his pants. Don’t believe me? Look for yourselves. By the time he had his little temper tantrum at his weekly press conference yesterday, they were pulled nearly to his neck. For those of us “in the know,” we knew he was about to blow.
And he did. But let’s face it, it was the kind of blow-up you’d expect from a Middlebury-accountant kind of a guy. He basically just gritted his teeth, got red faced and a bit snotty. Come on, Guv, you can do better than that.
Hats off, however, to the Vermont media for pushing his buttons. It’s about fucking time. And a second hat tip to Ross Sneyd at the Associated Press for filing a full story on the gubernatorial meltdown and the subsequent apology. Good stuff – especially on the newly localized Times Argus front page.
Welch Watch: The heat is clearly being turned up on Peter “The Dick” Welch. The wave of snarkiness directed at the newly minted congressman has sent this Snarky Boy’s heart fluttering. Let’s face it, the guy’s just plain smarmy. And, for those of you who think good blogging means posting headlines like “Welch Off to Good Start,” please tell me ONE thing that Welch has done in his political life that has been risky and/or showed true passion. One thing. I’ll bet you can’t. The guy’s a political player. And he’s playing Vermonters like a fiddle right now, hoping we’ll forget his firebrand campaign rhetoric of only a few months ago while he plays footsie with the House leadership for the betterment of his career.
Luckily, there are a growing number of people out there who seem to remember that Welch ran on a platform to stick it to Bush, especially on the war. So they’re calling for folks to call Welch and demand that he get his ass in gear by signing onto the legislation that would put a quick end to the Iraq fiasco. J.D. over at Five Before Chaos is one blogger who’s been up to the task of practicing democracy. There’s also some talk afloat about some civil disobedience at the not-so-good congressman’s office if he continues to drag his feet on the issue we thought he was going to lead on. Stay tuned for news on that effort.
Global Warming Hot Air: I’m beginning to think Peter Shumlin hijacked the state legislature with his global warming focus just so he could tell people how he went hunting in a t-shirt this year. Tell me, how many times have you heard him say it? I know I’ve heard it about four times. And that’s four times too many, quite frankly. Earth to Peter: No one’s buying this good-old-boy bullshit. You’re a millionaire politician, not one of the boys. Now get over it and move on, please.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for doing something about global warming. The problem with the charade going down at the Statehouse is that it’s just that: a charade. Or, if you will: more hot air. And there’s not a chance in hell that Shumlin or anyone else under the golden dome will legislate the kinds of changes that are necessary to truly combat global warming. Sadly, Shumlin’s just doing what liberals do: talk about it to feel good about themselves for AT LEAST talking about it. And around and around they’ll go.
Again, the Snarky Boy will stand corrected when anyone out there can come forward with one piece of meaningful legislation that will come out of this global warming rhetoric-fest.
I’ve stumbled across one great voice of reason on this: Eric Rosenbloom from Hardwick. Known for his well-reasoned opposition to industrial wind power, Rosenbloom has been penning some fine jabs at the global warming hot air breathers. Here, for example, is a link to a nice verbal take down of Shumlin’s double speak on global warming. And while you’re at his site, take a look around and stew on his wind arguments. I think he’s onto to something.
Whew, We Made It: To Friday, that is. And in a matter of hours the Snarky Boy will morph into the wandering boy of the ever-growing nightlife scene in Montpelier. I’ve got scheduled stops planned for my usual haunts of Charlie O’s and Langdon Street Café. The music seems to be less than enticing tonight, but the pool playing should be good and the conversations constant. Perhaps I’ll see you there?
Until then, snark on.
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