If, like me, you can grit your teeth, clinch your jaw and attempt to deny the existence of proper grammar from time to time, you might find yourself trying to listen to Paul Beaudry’s dopey little paid show on the otherwise fine WDEV. It’s called “True North Radio,” and, as I’ve written here before, I’m certain it’s just a comedy show pretending to be a political show. Because, come on, no one can be that stupid, can they?
But, I guess I’m wrong. Beaudry’s for real. Well, real enough to come up with the $250 an hour he hands over to WDEV’s owner, Ken Squier. And I’ll bet the ever-fun-loving Squier would probably help us do what should be done with that show: add a damn laugh-track. Besides canceling the dreadful thing, that’s the only way I can think to help it out of its misery.
Beaudry himself likes to send little love notes to Snarky Boy every time I mention him here. And it always goes something like this: If it’s so bad, why are you listening? Well, Paul, it’s just plain funny, that’s all. I mean, you’re spending $250 and hour to make the left feel really secure about itself. Besides, anyone who can make the sleepy Anthony Pollina sound even remotely interesting has to be really, really bad, no?
Okay, okay, I can hear you readers collectively saying: But what’s that got to do with the headline, you schmuck? Well, nothing. And if you’d stop interrupting me, I’ll get to it.
Beaudry and his turtle-like regular guest, Bill Sayer (do you, like me, think he’s about to fall asleep in mid-sentence?), have been on a kick of late to help Vermont’s dairy farmers by asking an already phlegmed up and obese state to – well – eat more cheese! And, of course, they’ve put the spotlight on Cabot Creamery. Beaudry has even made a reference to Cabot being “a sponsor” of his program.
Oops. Cabot didn’t need that, did they? Nope. Because Cabot – apparently an innocent player in all of Beaudry’s drivel – has been bombarded with emails, letters and calls from Vermonters wondering why they’re sponsoring an “anti-gay” radio show that’s filled with “right-wing nonsense.” And how does Snarky Boy know this? Well, Snarky Boy does his homework. And it also helps that I’ve been receiving copies of the email exchanges between listeners and Cabot over the matter.
After receiving the first irate email, Cabot tried to punt and declare that they advertise on and in numerous radio and newspapers and those advertisements don’t necessary equate to an endorsement of the content. Then they tried their old “and here are some coupons now shut up,” routine. But it didn’t work with the Snarky Boy reader who wasn’t gonna get waltzed to the door on this one.
“I will not be needing coupons for your products,” the reader wrote to Cabot, “…until I know if, in fact, you are sponsoring this program.”
And Cabot’s response? Here’s what Michael Provost, the Customer Satisfaction Manager (yes, that’s his real title) had to say: “Cabot does not support anti-gay messages or right-wing nonsense.”
But we still need some clarity here. Cabot could be doing what Cabot does best: public relations spin. I could hear, for example, the mouthpiece of Cabot, Roberta McDonald, saying: “Well, we stand behind our statement AND our sponsorship of True North Radio.”
But do they sponsor True North Radio? No one knows but Cabot. And they won’t say for certain. And wouldn’t you like to know? Well, give them a call or shoot them an email and try to find out. Michael Provost can be reached at (802) 371-1265, or his email is customer_satisfaction@cabotcheese.com. Please let me know what you hear.
Hey Cabot: We’re waiting for a straight answer.
