Wednesday, February 21, 2007

You Want It, You Got It

Hey. Let’s take a ride on Snarky Boy’s random side. But, first, let me thank you all once again for the stimulating emails. It’s a snarky treat to know you’re gobbling up the words and throwing the arrows right back at me when you see fit. I can take it, and keep ‘em coming at vtsnarkyboy@yahoo.com.

The best note of the day came from a tipster who informed me that Snarky Boy had been “outed.” Yep, outed. Over at the sleepy site where you read headlines like, “Leahy Working Hard,” “Welch Off and Running,” and “Sanders’ Shit Still Doesn’t Stink” (and they should know because he craps on them everyday), they’ve come up with another of their child’s play posts claiming to know who I am. Yeah, child’s play.


But they’re as wrong as they are wrong-headed. What is it with liberals and their need to scold, denigrate and punish – all in the name of – well – being liberal? And the worst thing about them is that no matter how much they keep losing, they just keep doing the same old thing. Worse, they simply don’t trust – or honor -- the people they proclaim to care about. Don’t believe me? Well, attend one of their meetings some time and just see how long it takes for you to hear something like: “We can’t go too fast…we can’t say that…wait until after the election…or -- my favorite – it won’t happen in our lifetimes.”

You know what I’m talking about, too. Take the war. Even though 70-plus percent of the population is against the war, the Dem-liberals still can’t find the courage to propose AND push anything that would cater to the vast majority of the American public who are waiting for some action. Quick, introduce another meaningless resolution….

Holy shit, there’s some excitement, huh?

And it’s not excitement they’re looking for, either. Nope. They just want to be seen in a public setting as if to be caring. Public participation for these folks is like one big Catholic confessional: It really doesn’t mean squat but it “makes you feel good.” Whatever.

As you, dear readers, know, Snarky Boy is a very equal opportunity attack dog. I’ve got a nose for bullshit and I relish the opportunity to find it up here in the Green Mountain State. And it ain’t hard – it’s everywhere! Go ahead, smell around for yourselves and see what you come up with.

But I find it nothing short of hilarious – and not surprising – that it’s the liberals who can’t take a poke, a joke or the heat. Because it’s the liberals who have – according to my emails -- breathlessly pondered my identity and tossed about all kinds of dopey little accusations and name calling. Oh sure, label me. That hurts. Not.

If you don’t believe how goddamn lifeless and joyless the liberals are, just imagine being at a party with Leahy, Sanders and Welch. Ew. And, please, tell me the last time you saw Bernie Sanders smile or laugh when it didn’t involve the fact that he’s become a millionaire while decrying millionaires. Oops, I forgot, he only does that when he’s snuggling Jane and they’re giggling over the fact that she was his “media buyer” for his 6-million-dollar-campaign, thus “earning” 15% of the costs of the media buys. Yeah, you do the math. Couldn’t they have found a poor farmer’s wife to take that gig?

So let me be clear: You’re pondering is wrong and wrong-headed. I am Snarky Boy. Hear me roar. I’m no “radical.” I’m no foundation-funded activist. I’m just a working boy with enough time to keep my ear to the ground, my mind active, and – like I already said – one hell of a bullshit detector. Deal with it.

If you don’t want to play, stop reading. But you won’t. Trust me on that one.

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Ugh. Now that that’s out of my system, let’s look at the news: Mayor Thom Lauzon and his nest of ninnies on the Barre City Council did what you’d expect a bunch of reactionaries to do: They thumbed their noses at the committee they appointed to look into a teen curfew and, against the committees wishes, voted 5-to-1 to approve the 10 p.m. curfew for the city’s youth. Take that, tomorrow’s leaders!

Barre’s little Napoleon, Mayor Lauzon, had this to say to a Barre resident who noted at last night’s meeting that the City Council and the Mayor have repeatedly appointed committees and then ignored their advice: “Ultimately…it’s my vote and I’m going to vote the way I feel.”

Yep, and we remember when little Thommy said the same thing when he took his ball and went home during recess at Barre’s elementary school.

Like I said in previous posts: This man is scary. And, since he’s trying to legislate every behavior that he doesn’t relate to, let me suggest some new initiatives he could champion on my behalf:

Lobbyists – like cockroaches -- should not be allowed to be seen in daylight;
Journalists – like cockroaches – should not be allowed to work for those they were pretending to cover;
Politicians – like cockroaches – should not be allowed to hold office in Vermont for as long as they damn well please;
And mayors of working class towns – like cockroaches – should not be allowed to scurry from sight when the light of the people shines upon them.


Now get working, Thommy.

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“Give Us Your Rural & Poor, And We’ll Send ‘Em to War.”
If there was a Statue of Liberty being christened today, that’s what it would say. Because, according to the Department of Defense, the states with the highest number of U.S. military casualties per capita in Iraq were: Vermont, South Dakota, Alaska, North Dakota, Nebraska and Wyoming.

Yes, Vermont IS rural and poor.

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Speaking of rural and poor, gotta love the Burlington Free Press piece from earlier this week that announced what many of us already knew: The family farm that includes the genes and love-lines of Governor Jim Douglas has been employing illegal Mexican immigrants for years. Hats off to Sam Hemingway of the Free Press for getting this story the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, however, the story will most likely die before it gets traction, mostly because Jimmy D. basically squashed it by saying the usually dopey kinds of things that he says, like: “Well, what else were we supposed to do?” And the rest of the Vermont media rolled over for yet another nice belly scratch and the hopes that they, too, will be able to work for Jimmy D. if they keep their mouths shut about his policies.

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Letter to the Editor of the Day: Stewart Skrill of Randolph Center, a sometimes cogent and sometimes loony letter writer, had this fine commentary in today’s Times Argus letters section regarding the efforts by the Vermont legislature to help dairy farmers:

I would like someone to show me where in the Vermont Constitution it says that the state must come to my aid if I make a bad business decision.


Skrill noted that those dairy farmers who saw the light of day several years ago and switched to organic aren’t in need of state or federal aid at this time. Nope. It’s just the dairy dinosaurs who keep whining and pretending that keep getting hand-out after hand-out from Montpelier and Washington politicians who won’t say what needs to be said: Vermont can’t compete in the industrial dairy model. Period.

Instead, these politicians keep shedding crocodile tears and writing blank checks for business people – er, farmers – who keep dousing their land with toxic chemicals, injecting their cows with carcinogens and crying about how unfair it is that they can’t keep making a living while polluting. Boo-fucking-hoo.

The Snarky Boy is still waiting for the politician who will step up to the plate and say: Industrial dairying cannot and should not work in Vermont. And then they would introduce a “Death with Dignity” act for those dairy farmers who refuse to see the light and make the switch to organic. Don’t hold your breath.

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You can’t want more, can you? Good. Because I was sniffing paint fumes all day and I’m scared about what will come out of me next.

See you tomorrow. Snark on.