Tuesday, March 13, 2007

NEWS FLASH: The Troops Are Drinking! Repeat: The Troops Are Drinking!

Oh boy, here’s some news straight from the New York Times: The troops in Iraq are drinking alcohol! No shit, Sherlock. And, guess what, they deep drinking when they get back, too. Funny how when you put a bunch of mostly young men in an unwinnable battle situation they turn to any kind of stress reduction they can find, huh? I mean, I need a drink after a day of painting – and no one’s shooting at my sorry ass all afternoon.

Here’s how the Times summarizes this most obvious news:

The use of alcohol and drugs in war zones appears to reflect a broader trend toward heavier and more frequent drinking among all military personnel, but especially in the Army and Marine Corps, the two services doing most of the fighting, Pentagon officials and military health experts said.

Again, where’s the news here? Oh yes, the news should be that this is news and, worse, that the U.S. military complex isn’t dealing with the situation like they should.

I wonder if Vermonters could, for example, get our ambulance-chasing congressman, Peter Welch, to stick his nose in the mess of the VA situation RIGHT HERE in Vermont. I’m just a painter boy with a few causes and I’ve been told about numerous post-traumatic stress cases – including those that involve alcohol and drugs – that have been ignored and/or bungled. My guess is that Peter the Dick hasn’t seen enough camera crews in front of the Vermont VA to merit it much attention yet. Perhaps we could trick him by putting up some phony cameras and then watch him come running….

But, in the meantime, let’s get back to Times article. Here’s what a real pro had to say about the situation:

“I think the real story here is in the suicide and stress, and the drinking is just a symptom of it,” said Charles P. O’Brien, a psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine who served as a Navy doctor during the Vietnam War. There is a high incidence of post-traumatic stress disorder among Iraq veterans, he said, adding that “there’s been a lot of suicide in the active-duty servicemen.”

You think so, Doc? Well, you too get a “No shit, Sherlock” medal. Wear it with pride.

And the not-so-funny thing is that the pro-war lunatics keep getting away with spinning a stop to this maddening war as “not supporting the troops.” At what point can they be considered accomplices to these war crimes? In fact, they’re reminding me of the sick bastards who cheer on old boxers like Mike Tyson. They don’t give a damn about his well being, they just want to get their rocks off by watching him pummel and get pummeled. But wait, there are a couple big differences between the soldiers and Mike Tyson: The soldiers are dying and Mike Tyson got rich. Never mind.

But wait, Pelosi and the Dems have a plan. Oh shit, I can’t find it. Where did it go? Oh yeah, I filed it under “c” for Chickenshit. Or cowardly. Or conniving. Or contemptible. Or…you get the picture.

The Pelosi non-plan is a mass of confused rhetoric that can be most honestly distilled down to this: Keep this war in the warming oven until the 2008 elections. Sinister bastards (oops, and bitches). Hey, their insider thinking goes, it worked for us in the 2006 elections, let’s give it another ride in 2008! Besides, they’d continue – if they were honest – we’re scared shitless to do the only obvious thing (de-fund) and too witless to think of anything else. So, what the fuck, stretch the thing out and take back the White House!

Personally, I love the news about the folks who’ve been camping out in front of Pelosi’s multi-million-dollar abode in the Pacific Heights region of San Francisco. They’re part of the national effort called “Project Occupation,” and they’re targeting the weak-kneed Dems like Pelosi who are content with dilly-dallying on the war issue.

The word on the street is that a Vermont chapter of Project Occupation is forming and, given the heel-dragging going on by Leahy, Sanders and Welch, all three may have some campers in their offices very, very soon. Once again, you heard it here first…

But the best line in all the coverage of the Pelosi protesters was about their sleeping arrangements. They are, it turns out, literally sleeping on Pelosi’s lawn.

“It’s been fine,” said one protester, “until the automatic sprinklers go off at 4 am.”

While it’s not exactly a Mayor Daly/Chicago/1968 scenario, the use of the water to send the protesters fleeing is kind of comical – er, I mean – hostile. Fuck it, I mean both. Deal with it.

But, like any good liberal Dem, Pelosi’s not about to do away with her amenities in the support of a cause. You see, liberals purchase amenities to support their causes. They never do away with them. That’s so 1960s.

Oh hell, all this talk about the war and soldiers has made me start jonesing for a drink. I’ll be back later…

[Special Snarky note to Senator Shumlin: Will we see you at McGillicuddy’s again tonight?]