Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Paul Beaudry: The Vermont Left's Favorite Lunatic

Vermont’s most paranoid and right-wing cartoon character, – er, I mean, radio host – Paul Beaudry of WDEV’s True North Radio, is on the run again. This time, the guy who likes to talk tough but does little but cower when his hate-filled rhetoric is challenged, is using some of his $250-plus and hour air time to whine and moan about an anonymous group of people who are targeting Paul’s advertisers with “radical” messages like this: “We don’t want to support businesses who support far-right lunatics who attack teachers, gays and peaceniks.”

There are several things that are comical about Paul’s on-air whining about being attacked. First of all, Paul’s making his pitiful little living by doing little more than attacking people. So, when you spend your life saying “boo” to other people, you really can’t get much traction when you try to play the victim when people say “boo” right back at you. Yes, I know a thing or two about this.

Secondly, Paul’s porn of choice is the free market. As listeners know, his love affair with what he thinks is the “free market” just totally gets him off. But, like so many confused conservatives today, Paul suddenly hates the free market when people use it to put the squeeze on him. And that’s exactly what these so-called anonymous people are doing: they’re using the free market to contact Paul’s advertisers and tell them that they find their support for his hate unacceptable.

And Paul’s pissed. Or, more accurately, Paul’s scared. That’s why he’s led off his last few shows with confused rants about being under siege and – of course – using this kind of fear mongering as way to raise money from his loony supporters.

Personally, I’m not buying it. In fact, I’m betting that this so-called threat is about as illusive as Bush’s WMD assertions in Iraq. In other words, it’s all bullshit – just like much of the drivel that comes out of his rather lunatic mouth.

This “threat” is little more than a fundraising appeal. You see, Paul’s funding is clearly in trouble. The money people who shit-canned his predecessor, Laurie Morrow, were counting on a more energetic -- albeit whacky -- Paul to be able to tap some of the large amounts of cash needed to financially carry his hour a day on Vermont’s top radio station.

But that clearly has not been the case. Instead, Beaudry’s been an embarrassment to many of those same funders who understand that his christo-fascists rhetoric just doesn’t fly in a state that just elected Bernie Sanders with nearly 70% of the vote. Oops, where’s Morrow’s “brainy” conservatism when they need it?

The conundrum facing the money folks behind Beaudry’s show is that they want to pull the plug because he’s basically a moron. If you don’t believe me, just try to listen to him and keep track of how often he butchers the English language (e.g. “There’s a bunch of people that is attacking us”) or – worse – just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever (he did, after all “guarantee Tarrant and Rainville victories).

And so, while Paul feels the financial pinch from his backers, he’s getting more paranoid and reactionary about his opponents. Instead of admitting that the show is going down the tubes – beginning with the loss of his Rutland station – he’s going to do what he does best on behalf of the Bush agenda: Declare that he’s being attacked and that he’s “at war” with his phantom attackers with the hopes that enough goofy people will fall for it and send him money.

But, like Bush and his claims of WMDs and an Iraqi connection to 9/11, it ain’t holding up for poor Paul. His financial backers are getting more nervous and it would probably take no more than two hands to count the number of listeners who’ve ponied up cash to help him out. Don’t believe me? Well, why would he mention just ONE schmuck who gave $25 when he opened his show the other day? To use your kind of rhetoric, Paul: That ain’t gonna cut it, buddy.

So, tick-tock, the clock is running out on Paul. And it’s a whole lot easier for a paranoid freak like Paul to begin blaming some “anonymous” bogeyman out there than admit that his show just sucks. Besides, I think the people on the left who would naturally dislike his drivel kind of like the fact that Paul’s got the microphone because he’s simply not credible. Nope, he’s so whacked he’s almost funny.

I mean, come on, Beaudry apparently can’t even arrange a kickback from Tarrant to help pay the hourly rate for his show. Hey, maybe Tarrant wasn’t so bad after all? He apparently knows a loser when he sees one.

My suggestion: Call Beaudry’s sponsors and thank them for supporting his show and making Vermont Republicans look so ridiculous. But then also let them know that you’ll never buy a damn thing from them because Paul convinced you about the powers of the free market.

But, please, Paul, don’t give up. Ken Squire needs your money so he can keep Amy Goodman’s Democracy Now on his airwaves