Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Peter Welch Will Lose in 2008

Peter Welch is a one-term congressman. Yep, you heard it here first. He’ll follow the last Peter who represented Vermont – Peter Smith – and go down in flames after one term because – well – he’s a pompous ass. And like the first Dick – or, I mean, Peter – he’ll deserve it, too.

Let’s be real. Peter Welch is a phony. He’s a rich kid who does next to nothing for his less privileged neighbors but offer bogus fucking rhetoric. You know, something like, “Oh, I understand, and I’m here to help.” But his idea of helping is to brag about offering a dollar-fucking-rise in the “minimum wage.” Yes, the MINIMUM wage.

But, please, could one of Peter’s wet-behind-the-ears staff members please pull their rich-boy leader aside and tell him that the minimum wage has NOTHING to do with the middle class. I’ve now heard Peter three times on radio shows talk about his concern and support for the middle class and then mention the minimum wage as the only piece of legislation he’s supported in that realm. Huh?

Earth to Peter: Minimum wage is for the poor. As in: The Minimum, you ninny.

And the minimum is clearly something he should know about. Peter, for example, has minimally opposed Bush’s war by signing onto minimalist resolutions that simply aim to offer an opinion – not law – on Bush’s escalation. Worse, Peter the Dick has steadfastly refused to sign onto the real legislation that would become law if passed and mandate clear and unequivocal deadlines for getting the troops out of Iraq and ending the war – you know, just like he promised he would do if elected.

The Snarky Boy humbly predicts that Peter the Dick will wear out his welcome with Vermonters by the time the 2008 election comes around. He’s too full of shit, which means: he’s too much of a politician. He was elected with a very, very, very clear mandate: Kick Bush’s ass. And yet he’s just been busy kissing legislative ass in DC and – worse – vying for Bush’s autograph.

Peter the Dick, for example, hasn’t signed onto one piece of legislation that would mandate an end to the war. He hasn’t signed onto any of the many pieces of legislation that would move toward universal health care. And he refuses to sign onto efforts to impeach a president who has clearly and rather proudly usurped the Constitution and the trust of the American people.

Instead, Peter the Dick just keeps acting like any slick trial lawyer acts when they think they’re smarter than anyone else in the room: they just filibuster and pretend that they’re the smartest one in the room. The problem, of course, is that these kinds of guys convince themselves that the silence around them translates to support when, in fact, it usually translates to silent contempt.

Hey Peter, we – the people – can smell a rat when it crawls on our chests – even when it says it’s a cat.

Here’s how Peter the Dick will go down in 2008: He will become so enmeshed in his DC deal making and attempts to promote his own political career that he will fall on his political face. His anti-war campaign rhetoric of 2006 will become the primary tool for a real anti-war and anti-Bush candidate to emerge in 2008 and make Welch look like the phony political player he is. Thus, Welch will face a strong third-party candidate and a Republican candidate and – holy shit – Peter the Dick will be sent home to walk his dog and enjoy his millions.

And if there is real political justice, he’ll respond in this manner when asked what happened to his political career: “Well, I guess Vermonters expect you to do what you say and I clearly didn’t do that. I got caught up in the game of DC politics and my political career. I wish I would have done more to stop the war. I wish I would have done more to stop Bush. And I wish Vermonters would have taken a millionaire more seriously when I talked about the minimum wage.”

Then, of course, Peter the Dick will utter these historical – hysterical? – words: “I wish Snarky Boy well in representing the people of Vermont for the next two years.”

Oh yeah, baby.

You’ve been snarked.