Monday, January 08, 2007

Universal Cell Phone Coverage or Universal Health Care? Governor Douglas Missed Our Message

Okay, okay, I’ve given the mainstream media more than enough time to get off their collective asses. I’m not waiting any more for a response. I’m going to give it. This session of the Vermont Legislature will be a complete and utter failure for those of us truly struggling for something real to be done.

There. I said it. But you didn’t need to hear it from me. You already knew it. Because you’re either a snarky little bitch/bastard of your own or you’ve been reading, watching or listening to the Vermont media of late.

Take, for example, the Vermont Public Radio “analysis” a few days ago that basically wagged its high-wattage finger at us and said: The Democrats will and should go slow with their new-found veto-proof majority in both houses.

Huh? Go slow? Why?

It was, after all, the Dems who BLAMED Douglas for the ridiculous compromise called Catamount Health, a health care “solution” that no one can explain or seemingly understand. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Dem, you’ve got the power. Let’s see you use it.

Hell, even the Governator of California (a Republican!) has seen the light when it comes to health care and – just today – called for universal health care in his state. Better yet, he did it all with a broken leg from a rather elitist ski trip. Oh, feel the compassion, baby.

But, here in the so-called Socialist Republic of Vermont, we’re still fixated on the absurd notion of “going slow.” Hmm. Why?

Well, the snarky answer, of course, is that the news media in this state is largely and almost exclusively a big nest of suck-up ninnies. They remain more interested in being happily glad-handed at the next political press conference than cheered by the people they’re supposed to be reporting to.

Vermont likes to pretend. We are, quite clearly, the great pretend state. We allowed, for example, Howard Dean to take his traveling national political road show on the road with the notion that he was, well, liberal. Now that was funny. And we even turned a blind eye to the notion that it was Dean who “led” our great foray into civil liberties by “signing” the civil unions legislation. Well, was we all know, he signed that in the closet (pun intended). Dean ran from that truly liberal legislation like he ran away from almost every other liberal piece of change that came within 20 feet of his rich ass.

Oops, I’m digressing again.

Oh yes, I was talking about pretending. And that, once again, leads me to Governor Douglas.

Our lame little governor pretended throughout an entire election season that he was running to make Vermont “more affordable.” Just like the Rove-inspired national Republicans, Douglas talked taxes while on the campaign trail. If you can remember back to a few months ago, you’ll recall that Douglas made issue number one of his re-election campaign the “affordability” Vermont. He talked tough on reducing taxes, increasing job opportunities, and putting a stop to the trend toward the brain and job drain in our little state. The option, of course, was to continue to tether himself to his hero in the White House but we all know how that would have worked out – even with the milquetoast Scudder yapping at his heels.

Well, Douglas had the podium last week to deliver his “state of the state” speech and about 25 of the 5,000 words had to do with his so-called affordability agenda. That was SOOOOO yesterday. Instead of trying to address the issue he ran on, Douglas found a brand new issue: making Vermont more compatible for the elite few who carry or care about electronic devices. Yep, Douglas changed his tune faster than a Phish acid-flashback, and what was a fixation on the little guy in early November became a suck-up to the big guy in January. Ho-hum. That is, after all, what we expect from Republicans isn’t it? Let them eat cake!

Hey Jimmy boy, we don’t need fucking coverage for blackberries or cell phones, we need jobs! And, please, don’t tell me the two are connected. Because, as far as this blue-collar bastard can calculate, the cell phone coverage you so want for Vermont is more for the yuppie soccer moms we see tooling around the Interstate than us poor slobs trying to knock on doors and otherwise communicate directly with people looking for our services.

Which reminds me, will the State of Vermont be responsible for their little yuppie crashes if you give us all universal coverage?

Holy shit, I just said “universal coverage,” didn’t I? I think I just hit the nail on the head. I’ll bet Douglas just confused universal health care coverage for universal cell phone coverage. But notice, dear readers, how fast the old bastard jumped to make a move for all of us, anywhere and anytime, to have the “right” and ability to make a stupid fucking phone call. Too bad he won’t act just as fast when it comes to a visit to the doctor or medical treatment, huh?

And what about all that red-baiting with the “socialism” word? Isn’t it, Mr. Douglas, socialized cell phone coverage that you’re proposing? And if socialized cell phones work, why can’t socialized medicine? And did you notice how fast he jumped at the chance to hand millions of dollars of the tax-payers money over to the cell phone and cable corporations but he’ll continue to draw the line to provide the same cash to help with Vermonters’ health care premiums?

Think about it. And then call a Democrat and tell them to wake the fuck up.

If you need a slogan, try this: Universal Cell Phone Coverage is Good, Universal Health Care is Better.

You heard it here first.