Oh shit. Here we go again. I can’t keep these wannabe-blogger-gatekeepers off my ass. I’m just trying to have some fun here, folks, but you keep stomping all over my painter buzz. I came home to an email box jammed with nervous rants and threats. Oh boy, you really know how to get my motor running.
I put in a simple little half-day today, too, wrapping up a job and cashing a nice check in the process. One thing’s for sure: Montpelier folks hate to paint their own houses. And once you present yourself like a guy who isn’t going to snort crack and steal their plasma televisions, they’ll open their wallet to the heavens for a boy like me to come and scrape and paint their not-so-little abodes. In fact, they keep thanking me over and over and over. It’s as if they never expected me to show up.
But then I got home and opened my email (vtsnarkyboy@yahoo.com, for those unable to look for it here). Good-fucking-grief, you’ve got to be kidding.
First, the fine folks at Green Mountain Daily are in a total rip shit about the Snarky Boy, even contemplating banning me from their site. Well, that would be smart, especially since they’ve shown their cards and are apparently masturbating to the same chick Bill Clinton threw to the wind for his Monica blowjobs. Yep, they’re actually defending Hillary over there. Ew. But it’s soooooo Vermont, you know.
Then there were the emails from the two of the fellas at GMD who fucking begged me to partake in their little endeavor. When they approached me, they said their site was in desperate need of some spice and content. Well, I offered it up, fellas, and now you act like I’ve got the plague or something. They’re lucky I’ve got a policy for not outing people in public without their permission; otherwise I’d have a field day. They know who they are and all I can say is: get real.
The best thing about the GMD diatribes is that they’re clearly getting what they wanted from me: juicing their site up a bit. And the only things that will keep me around are their cheap shots and lame attacks. Keep ‘em coming, fellas, because the Snarky Boy loves to write. My guess is that they’ll blow-off the advice from the real thinkers there and “ban” the boy from their site. Whatever.
And then I also got several emails from Cathy Resmer over at 7 Daze. Like her compatriots, her “alternative” edge is all packaging. Oh, the language, she proclaimed! Oh, the incivility! Oh yeah, baby, I forgot, this is Vermont and we’re not supposed to really speak our minds. Fuck that. That’s why we can’t ever get rid of a Republican pig like Douglas – you liberal posers won’t speak truth to power.
Strangely, Ms. Resmer was most annoyed with the Snarky Boy’s use of the photo she displays on her website’s homepage. Yo Cath: Any publicity is GOOD publicity. I didn’t doctor it in anyway, so what are you bitching about? And I certainly don’t think anyone who reads the piece will think you’re endorsing my site. Besides, don’t you have a 7 Daze Meet-up to cover?
The Snarkmaster conferred with my snappy team of legal minds and we came up with an official legal response to Resmer’s request: Sue us. It’d be great publicity.
And we haven’t heard a peep from her since. And it’s a good thing, too, because I’ve got Gerry Spence on retainer and if she’s goes any further the Snarky Boy will own 7 Daze. Imagine that.
Finally, there were a slew of emails saying basically this: Where in the hell have you been? And to these fine folks, I say: On a stupid ladder, painting houses, listening to talk radio, and at the bars.
It ain’t a bad life. I’m not complaining. And it’s nice to have you here. ( (
